With that decided, I felt well enough to eat. Removing the dome over my dinner plate released a cloud of mouth-wateringaromas. I knew the food would be delicious, but I couldn't help comparing it to the beautiful dishes I'd eaten in Kansu.
“Who cares what it looks like,” I told myself. “Besides, how much seafood can you eat before you get sick of it?”
I took a bite and groaned. Simmered in a clay pot with apricots and dates, the chicken was tender and sweet. It lay on a bed of boiled and spiced grains spotted with raisins. It didn’t look beautiful, but it tasted amazing. I poured a glass of water, took a sip, and returned to eating. I did not think about Jucai. Much. Not until I finished the meal and headed into the bathroom.
The court would doubtless still be in the dining hall, enjoying sweet pastries and mint tea while they were entertained by dancers and acrobats. King Saric loved to host visitors, and Jucai was a potential ally and trade partner. That meant extra extravagance.
As I undressed and ran my bathwater, I thought of Diaya. Perhaps I should have gone home with him. It would have put an end to whatever was happening with Jucai. It might also have enraged the Sea King enough to end trade talks before they began. No, I had to see this through.
Submerged in hot water, my tension ebbed, and I could think more clearly. I slid deeper into the bathtub and then went underwater. My hearing dulled and went hollow. The world slipped away. When air became an issue, I rose, bringing only my face out of the water. With my ears still submerged, I could breathe and enjoy the silence.
A pounding came, loud enough to echo through the water. I frowned and sat up. Someone was knocking on my suite door.
“Lord Nadar,” came a familiar voice. “His Majesty wishes to see you.”
That ache in my chest hardened and sank. In none of my imagined scenarios for the night had Jucai sent his guard to fetch me.
Like one of his slaves.
Grimacing, I closed my eyes and slid back under the water.
Chapter Twenty-Four
In the morning, I dressed and had breakfast in my room, as I did when at court. Sleep had been hard-won and fitful, but I eventually relaxed and gave in. Morning brought a fresh perspective, and I stood on my balcony to ponder things as I basked in the sun and sipped my tea.
I'd gotten wrapped up in Jucai. He had a commanding presence and a way about him that captivated me. I could admit that. In the end, it amounted to nothing but infatuation. Maybe a minor obsession. Being home reminded me of who I was and, more importantly, who I wasn't.
I was not someone Jucai could summon. Not to end our relationship and certainly not to apologize.
If he apologized, would I sleep with him again? Probably. All right, definitely, but I wouldn't let him enthrall me again. I would do my job, form an alliance between our kingdoms, and fuck Jucai until I had enough of him. Then I would come home and move on to Diaya.
My body tensed at the thought of the claw, but that was only nerves. I'd feel differently after I got my fill of Jucai. I just needed to get through this. I'd been behaving badly, going against my training, and now I knew why. I liked Jucai. So whenI saw things I didn't approve of, I'd taken them personally. It was as if he were failing me.
Utterly ridiculous, but it's the truth, and the only way to deal with it was to face it. I had liked the King of Ilshi from the moment we met. When I learned about his slaves, I was so disappointed in Jucai and myself that I reacted poorly. In any other kingdom, I would have taken the time to investigate or at least asked more questions before I judged the King and his court. And if I decided the King was wrong, I would never tell him. I'd take that information back to my king and let him decide. It wasn't my place to judge kings, not even sea kings.
But Jucai was different.
I should have noticed my interest in him wasn't appropriate and kept things professional. Instead, I let lust lead me and fucked things up. Not anymore. From this moment forward, I would be professional. What happened in the bedroom would be separate from my diplomatic mission. I would no longer allow my fascination with Jucai to color my view of his kingdom. Nor would I limit either of us with an agreement. Without rules, we couldn't betray each other. He could fuck whoever he wanted, and so could I.
And if he decided he wanted Yevena instead of me?
My body ran hot and cold. If Jucai tossed me aside for Yevena, I would be furious, but I wouldn't excuse myself from my mission. My pride wouldn't allow it. I'd have to see it through, remain aloof, and try not to murder the Sea King before I returned to Erimbar.
With that settled, I went inside and set my teacup on the breakfast tray. Today would be a new beginning. I had toget to work. First, I needed to inform King Jucai of what I'd learned from Daha and Diaya. After that, he could tell me what happened with Yevena. Next, I will respond politely. Then we could work out a new arrangement. After that, we would head back to Kansu.
I opened the door and came face to face with Jucai.
He stood in the corridor, a fist lifted to knock. Jucai blinked in shock, but quickly recovered and stepped past me into the room. I looked from his back to his guards, holding the door open for them. They ignored me and took positions in the corridor. Sir Feilen took the door from me and started to close it, his expression full of reproach.
“Oh, fuck off, Feilen.” I slammed the door before he could shut it.
I turned to find Jucai heading into my bedroom.
“Your Majesty? Uh, we can sit down in here.”
He turned and motioned to the bedroom. “No, we'll speak in here.”
Barely holding back my grimace, I went into the bedroom.
