I…don’t hate it. At least, not this time.
In fact, after not making it to the potty in time earlier, I’m kind of glad that I’m wearing it.
Or maybe it’s the fuzzy memories of the last time I wore a diaper for Kris making this seem more palatable. Because I really liked that experience.
“Okay,” Kris says, once again cutting into my thoughts, and I turn to find him holding a plastic bag tied off and knotted at the handles. It’s sagging heavily, and I assume that while I’ve been musing on the new-ish sensation of wearing a diaper, he’s been tidying up my wet clothes. “We’re all cleaned up now. Good job, honey.”
Somewhere at the back of my brain, I know I haven’t done a damn thing to make this process easier for him, but his words make me grin at him. “Yay!”
His expression goes all mushy, like the way Drake looks at Anson, or Vince looks at Bear. I tingle all over, not sure any Daddy has ever looked at me this way before. Oblivious, Kris says, “So now it’s up to you what we do next. Want to go play with the guys” —I tense up, but he continues calmly— “or go to one of the quiet rooms for a cuddle and story time?”
My heart speeds up again. I’ve always been too Big and too bratty for something like that. In fact, even when I have been Little —and never quite this Little— I’ve really only played with Daddies in a sexy sort of way, with maybe a little bit of cuddling as aftercare as I come out of headspace. I’ve never done anything as intimate as snuggling up in someone’s lap and having them read me a book.
But is Kris only asking me out of obligation? He’s already spent so much of his evening with me cleaning up my mess and literally listening to me cry. He’s got to be fed up with me by now. I haven’t been any fun at all.
“I can play,” I manage to answer after what was probably too long a pause.
“Benjamin,” Kris pulls out the Daddy voice that makes me shiver, then looks me in the eye for good measure. “I didn’t ask what youcando, I asked what youwantto do.”
I remember how nice it was to snuggle up and watch cartoons together back at camp, and I realize that I want to be selfish. I’ve already been a pain and way too much work for him tonight, so I doubt he will want to be my Daddy for a scene ever again. I might as well take this chance while I can get it.
Swallowing, I answer, “Cuddle.”
His eyes light up and his smile seems to make the whole room feel happier.
He’s a very good actor.
The thought has me swallowing back a bitter lump from my throat.
Oblivious, Kris squeezes my hand and tugs me towards the bathroom door. “Let’s go find one of the quiet spaces, then, shall we?”
If this is going to be my last chance with him, I might as well go all in.
“Yes, Daddy.”
Chapter Twenty-One
He called me Daddy.
The thought makes me want to whoop with glee.
I know our reunion has been a bit rocky, and I was seriously worried that I fucked it all up by telling him that Daddy’s here, or whatever, but I was obviously wrong about that. I think his big cry must have been like the damn bursting — a release of the buildup of all of his Big feelings since he left the camp a couple of months ago. He obviously needed the catharsis, and I feel privileged that he trusted me to be his safe space as he rode it out.
And then he called me Daddy.
I always want him to call me Daddy. I loved it back at camp (how could I not?) but now it feels even more special, given the intimacy of the experience we’ve just shared.
I’m slowly starting to realize that, while I wasn’t looking for a relationship or anything serious, it would be stupid to walk away from this connection with Benji, especially when coincidence seems to have brought us together yet again.
That has to be a sign, right?
I’d thought that making new friends who just happened to share my interests was fate, and I still think that’s the case. Even more now, because making those friends brought me back into Benji’s orbit. So, if those connections were fate, surely this has to be the same thing, right?
It’s like kismet. Like we’re meant to do something with this insane chemistry and compatibility.
And surely —surely— him slipping into even deeper regression after I stepped in is a sign that he’s comfortable with me as more than a once-off scene partner, right? I mean, I know we’ll have to talk about it once he’s out of his regressed headspace, but I can’t help but think that all the stars aligned to bring us back together or something.
And, okay, that sounds cheesy and probably a bit over-the-top, but he just called me Daddy unprompted and I’m going to be riding that high for a while.
