Finally, after sending way too many paragraphs over a clump of jittery messages, I send one more.
Me
I’ve NEVER felt like this before, especially not as late as a day after a scene.
Anson’s ellipsis bubbles for a bit. I can’t tear my gaze away from my phone screen. I’m anxious and sad and weirdly itchy under my skin.
Finally, a short message appears, followed quickly by two more.
Anson
Shit. That sounds like a drop to me, Ben.
Daddy says you should go find Kris and talk to him.
I think he’s right.
None of the above is what I wanted to hear. Or, I guess,read.
As if sensing that, Anson sends another barrage of short messages.
Anson
When Daddy and I first got together, I made the mistake of not telling himwhen I needed him.
I felt like crap then.
But I get feeling confused about it when you’re not even looking for a Daddy of your own.
Asher at The Little Community Center convinced me to talk to Daddy, though.
And now I’m living my HEA.
Not that you have to have a permanent Daddy for your HEA.
Sounds like he might be a good one, though.
With my lower lip quivering, I nod and sniffle a little. “I think so, too,” I mutter out loud, the confession quiet even though nobody else can hear me.
The thing is, this is a vacation fling. I’m not delusional enough to think it could be more than this. And, like all vacation flings, the illusion of what could be is always going to be more appealing than reality. Kristian and I are being the best versions of ourselves right now: relaxed and without any external pressures distracting us from enjoying our mutual kinks.
In addition to that, we’re in the middle of bumfuck nowhere and the people visiting this camp have come from all over the country. I don’t even know where Kristian lives! It would be just my luck to go and get attached to the perfect Daddy for me, only for him to live way too far away to justify more than this short vacation fling.
So, yeah. Dating him —being his Boy for more than just a few scenes here at camp— is probably impossible. I need to get a grip and treat this the same way I treat any of my random hook-ups at The Grove.
Sighing, I type my reply.
Me
He is a good guy. I’ll talk to him, but I don’t think there’s anything long-term in store for us. But thank you for letting me vent about it. I do feel a bit better now.
It’s a lie, of course. I don’t feel much better at all. If anything, I just feel a bit more hopeless.
Chapter Thirteen
Not seeing Benji at all today has made me feel unsettled. I’ve gone through the day with my usual cheer, but even I can admit that I don’t have the same zeal for running the activities when Benji’s not there to add extra entertainment.
Which is ridiculous, right? I mean, I didn’t volunteer to meet a Boy. I volunteered because I love being a caregiver. Being a Daddy. I love being immersed in the age regression lifestyle and seeing others who share my kinks enjoying themselves.
