“We got a little carried away. I pictured that a little…differently.”
Shiloh looks a touch sheepish, eyes dropping away from mine and running over my body. I look my own fill as well, trailing gentle fingers across his chest and sliding them down over his navel until I can wrap them around his soft cock. Now that my brain is back online, I’m keen on making sure I don’t leave this experience without solid memories of exactly how every inch of him feels. His hip twitches as I stroke him, making sure to keep my grip soft.
“We did,” I agree. I’m not mad about it. In fact, I’m thinking that was the best possible way for this to go. There was no room for nerves, no space for anything between us but the present moment and the raw animal hunger that was finally allowed to snap its leash.
“Next time, I’ll do better,” he tells me solemnly, gasping when my grip tightens involuntarily.
“Sorry.” Letting him go, I rest my hand on the bed between us and pillow my cheek on my arm. “I’m not sure it’s possible to do better. That was the best fuck I’ve ever had.”
He snorts, pinching my chin and leaning forward to kiss me. “Well, next time, we’re not fucking. I haven’t waited mywhole life for the chance to be with you to give you anything less than lovemaking.”
My heart takes a graceful tumble down to my stomach, and any response becomes lodged in my throat. I don’t know what I’m meant to say to that and mentally sift through a dozen responses before I manage a slightly hysterical “thank you,” which is one of the very few things Ishouldn’tsay. Shiloh just smiles.
He looks so beautiful, all flushed and sweaty and hazy-eyed, hair tousled and lips raw from my own contribution to the beard burn. We’re a mess. Shiloh, at least, has never looked better. His already warm face flushes a deeper red. I grin, happy to see my shy lobsterman come for a visit.
“Are you going to freak out?” I ask him, giving voice to one of the worries that kept me up at night as a teenager falling for my best friend.
“Areyou?” He raises a brow, eyes bouncing between mine. It’s a fair question, honestly. Of the two of us, I’m the more likely to freak out in any situation.
“No.”
“Good. Do you want to shower?”
“Sure, let’s go.” I sit up and push a hand through my hair. It’s damp and tangled, and I truly cannot remember the last time I had sex so vigorous that I sweated like this.
I peek around curiously as Shiloh leads the way into the bathroom. It’s an endearing mix of dated and new, and if I know anything about him at all, I know Shiloh’s the one who did the updating himself. I run a hand over the black-and-white subwaytiles, surprised that he’d choose this color scheme. When I glance over my shoulder, I catch Shiloh’s eyes firmlynoton the subway tiles, and I grin.
Chapter Eighteen
SHILOH
It’s hard to focus when so much of Ewan is on display. He crawled out of bed, stretched like a cat, and didn’t make a single effort to put clothes on or cover himself up as we walked to the bathroom. It makes sense, sure, since we’d be getting naked again to take a shower, but the complete lack of self-consciousness was a little surprising. Ewan’s lost some of the easy confidence I’ve always remembered him having, replaced the indifference with a high level of anxiety and worry concerning how others see him. The naked strut to the bathroom with not an ounce of shame is a surprise but a welcome one.
Of course, it helps that he’s beautiful. Pale skin, dark hair, and the rangy limbs that remind me of a deer. He’s graceful and lean and as eye-catching as one of his paintings. When he turnsand looks at me, my eyes immediately drop to his waist and the soft cock hanging between his legs. He smirks when he catches me looking, and I search for something witty to say. Mostly, I just want to kneel.
“Shower?” he prompts, kindly helping me put my brain back online.
I step around him to turn the water on, and he leans back so we touch. The force of the shower seems loud in the otherwise quiet room, the water cold where it sprays against my skin. Ewan takes a step toward it as though preparing to climb in, but I stop him. It needs to be warmer. He pauses next to me, standing in a way that puts us nearly flush together. Every time I catch his eye, he’s grinning at me like he knows exactly what he’s doing.
Ewan sighs the moment he steps under the water, dropping his head forward and letting it soak his hair. I keep staring at him. At some point, it’s going to become creepy, but it feels like I’m living in some alternate universe where Ewan Fate is standing naked in my shower after we had sex, and if I take my eyes off him, he’ll disappear. I don’t think I could ever recover if I had to wake up from this dream.
“Get in here, Shi,” he murmurs, eyes closed as he rotates his head, stretching his neck and directing the water onto new places.
“You look nice,” I tell him, stepping in and trailing a knuckle down the center of his chest to his navel. He has no hair, unlike me. Opening his eyes, Ewan looks at me. There are water droplets clinging to the long, dark lashes framing those bright, stunning eyes.
“Mm.” He hums, low and sleepy, like the warm water is soothing him. I reach for the soap. He needs my help washing, obviously, and my own desire to explore has nothing to do with it.
When I slide my hands across the slope of his shoulders, he sighs again, breathy and low and similar enough to the sounds he was making in bed that my dick is going to take notice if he continues. Digging my thumbs in a bit, I decide to go all in and add a massage to the washing. He always seems so tense, poised to jump at the slightest provocation.Relax, I say with my hands, spreading the soap down his arms.Relax.
I consider what sort of relationship this might be, unable to help but wonder if maybe I could ask Ewan for something I was never quite brave enough to request from Roy. Not tonight, though. Maybe not anytime soon, since he and I are still testing the boundaries of this new bond. I want it to be strong and not ask for too much too soon. I don’t want to scare him away.
“I’m going to fall asleep,” Ewan warns me, but his breath hitches when my hands start soaping further south. When I stop to lather up once more, he sighs and adds, “I suppose it’ll be my turn to do you in a minute.”
“Try to contain your excitement.”
“I may suffer, but I’ll do it admirably.”
I laugh, earning myself an endearingly crooked smile. Kneeling down and swiping the water off my face, I cup the back of his knee and direct him to lift his foot. He mutters something that I miss but puts a hand on my shoulder for balance and lets me do my thing. On my way back to standing, I treat myself andkiss my way there. A kiss to the inside of his thigh and one to his knee, lips grazed over both hips and an indulgent suck of his dick. He puts a hand in my hair and groans when I don’t take that further, moving on and dipping my tongue into his belly button, scratching my teeth over a nipple.
