“Well, you’ve got the focus,” he said, gesturing to my computer. “All this research will be good training for that. But I don’t know if you have the drive.”
“Why would you say that?” I asked, a little offended. I’d taken a research year because I was driven to accept only the best residency.
“Don’t take it the wrong way. I’m not saying you don’t care.” His mouth twisted. “I just think maybe you care about the wrong things.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well, you want a prestigious residency. I feel that. I really do. But you couldn’t have kept me out of an OR for a year. That would be fucking painful. I crave that shit, you know? It’s like the biggest hit of dopamine to open up a body and repair it. To save a life when nobody else can. Tosolvethe problem.” He blew out a breath. “I’m an addict, man. You can’t be truly great in this field if you’re not.”
I swallowed. “I didn’t want to stay out of the OR.”
He pointed at me. “See, that’s it right there. You’dliketo be in an OR, but you don’tneedto be. You and me? We’re not the same.”
“No,” I said quietly. “I guess we’re not.”
I tossed the Tylenol bottle back to him. “Thanks for this. I’m going to take a break.”
I strode out of the research lab, stomach twisting with an unease I couldn’t really understand. So Foley was some sort of thrill-seeking surgeon. It didn’t mean every surgeon felt that way. It didn’t mean I couldn’t still be great. And once I was in a residency, regularly operating, I might still catch that bug, right?
I’d assisted a few times in my student rotations up in Maple Grove, though. I’d been excited for a chance to learn, but I wouldn’t say I was craving another hit when I moved on to other areas of study. Maybe Foley was just weird.
I went to the staff room to grab my phone and then headed for the cafeteria to get a late lunch. Low blood sugar might have contributed to my headache.
Once I was seated with a turkey sandwich and a bottle of water, I swallowed down the Tylenol and checked my phone notifications.
I had a missed call from Flynn last night while I was in the shower with Knight, getting clean and dirty all at once.
I was trying to be better about staying in touch, so I hit the Call button.
He answered on the second ring. “Hey, Aiden. You didn’t have to call me from work. I was just checking in.”
“I’m on a break,” I said. “What’s up?”
“Oh, well, nothing much. Thought maybe you’d like to join us for dinner sometime soon.”
“Sure.”
There was a beat of silence.
“Flynn?”
He cleared his throat. “Um, also, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Everything with Knight. He mentioned you were a little shaken up by it.”
“He did, huh?”
I was going to have to gut that man later.
“He’s just concerned for you,Angel.”
“Okay, bad enough I could never get him to stop calling me that. Youreallycan’t do it.”
Flynn laughed. “Sorry. I just can’t get over you two being together.”
“It’s not serious,” I said, though the words sounded unconvincing, even to me. “You know I’ve got to leave at the end of the year.”
