“They just loaded him up. They are taking him to Regional. It don’t look good.”
My stomach has had enough, and I cough before vomiting into the sink. I heave over and over until I collapse onto the floor, my head between my knees.
“I’m going now, Duke. I’ll let you know.” The line goes dead, and I stare at the phone in my hand.
Where the hell is Caroline?
Dialing her number, it goes to voicemail again.
I can’t even form words when it’s time for the message. Tears run down my face, sobs erupting from my chest in giant hitching breaths.
Cash is hurt.
I don’t even know how to write anything else. I can’t figure out what to write. How do I put any of this into words? My phone rings in my hand, Caroline’s smiling face appearing on the screen.
“Hello.” My voice is hollow, wrecked. I can barely breathe through the pain in my chest.
“Duke? What’s wrong? What happened?”
“Where are you? You weren’t here. He’s hurt, bad. And you weren’t here.” My voice is defeated, but I have to keep myself calm to have any sort of conversation.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m coming now. Tell me, what happened?”
“Cash, the rodeo, the bull.” My words don’t make much sense, but I can’t. I just can’t. I start sobbing all over again. I feel Sadie wrapping her arms around me, and I sob into her shoulder. She pulls the phone from my hand.
“Hello?” she says.
“Oh, Caroline. Yeah, I know what happened. Cash fell and got trampled. He didn’t get up. Um, I don’t know whathappened after that. Duke is real tore up though. Yeah, I’ll tell him.”
Hanging up, she slips my phone into my shirt pocket. “She said she is twenty minutes away. What happened Duke?”
“Sleepy said they took him to the hospital. It doesn’t look good.” A fresh wave of nausea overtakes me, and I start heaving again, but there isn’t anything left. I just drool onto the floor, between my bent knees. My body shakes with sobs as I try to clear my head for just a moment, to figure out what happens now. I sit on the floor of the backroom and cry and cry and cry until I feel a different set of arms around me.
“Come on, Duke. We have to get up now.” It’s Caroline’s soft voice I hear.
“Caroline?”
“Yes, Duke, I’m here. We have to go to him, he needs us.”
I nod and allow her to wrap her arms around me and hoist me to my feet. She leads me out of the bar to her car and bundles me inside, helping me belt myself in.
“Where do I go, Duke?” she asks me quietly, getting her GPS ready. I tell her the name of the medical center and she sets off. It’s completely silent in the car except for my hitching breath every once in a while. It takes an hour but sooner than I realize, we’re pulling into the lot.
Somewhat calmer, I pull my phone from my pocket and check for messages; I have nothing. I dial Sleepy.
“Duke.” His normally deep voice sounds empty and strained.
“Where is he, Sleepy? We are here at Regional.”
“I’m in the first floor waiting room. Come in.” And he hangs up.
Caroline comes around the car and opens the door. We walk side by side, her hand clutched tightly in mine as we walk. She squeezes mine reassuringly, but I don’t feel any better. Iwon’t feel any better until this is over and I know that Cash is okay.
Approaching Sleepy sitting in the plastic chair in the blue-walled waiting room where everything smells like disinfectant, I don’t miss the reflection of Cash and I in an almost identical waiting room when Caroline was in the hospital.
He stands as we enter the room, his face thirty years older than the last time I laid eyes on him. His shoulders are slumped, and his soul seems empty.
No.
