“Heading out to Colter Ranch this morning.” This draws a huge smile from her. “I wanted to bring breakfast and coffee and was hoping…” I trail off.
“Of course! Anything for you.” She pours me a cup in a white mug before bustling off to the kitchen to get to-go cups and a bag for some food. Coming back loaded down, she sits. “Do you have a few minutes to chat? We can catch up.”
“I do.”
“Well, tell me everything that’s happened since you moved. How’s Cash? I haven’t seen him much this week, since he isn’t coming to see you.” Her voice is playfully scolding.
“I’ll tell him not to neglect you. Things are good. Going riding with Cash today, and to the Lewistown show tonight. Work is good.” I don’t want to confess all my dirty secrets, but I wish someone knew about Duke. I agonize over what to do and don’t have anyone to talk to. The few people I’ve met are on opposite sides. Obviously, Duke and Cash, but Lizzie and Bud are team Cash, for sure. And Kayla and Sadie would be team Duke.
“There was something I wanted to ask you. Strictly between us girls.” She winks at me. I still, waiting for whatever this is. I know Cash confessed his feelings to her. Is she going to try and intervene? “Small towns are—well they are their own thing and nothing stays hidden for long. I don’t know how things are with you and Cash, but I do know that Jim Stark told his wife that he saw you at Waylon’s last Saturday. In a heated conversation with Duke Williams. And that y’all,” she pauses, seeming to search her brain for the right words, “disappeared for a while.”
She stops talking and waits. Letting the words land how they land and waiting for me to decide how to respond to them. This feels like a grenade landed in my lap and I can’t stop the explosion. I know Cash is her whole heart and I’m so afraid of alienating this woman. I’m scared also that I’m ruining everything I’m building in this town with this back and forth.
“I was and we did.” I drop my head into my hands. “Lizzie, please don’t hate me.”
“Why would I hate you, Callie?”
Suddenly, in a flood of words that feel out of my control, I tell her the whole story. How Duke is the first person fromInspiration I met. How Cash blew into the dining room the first morning and brought light and happiness to my world that has been missing. About falling for both of them because they are so different and each giving me something the other isn’t, and how they complement each other. I spill out my secrets about Roger and how afraid I am of not being enough and how terrifying it is that I might hurt Duke, who has been through enough, or break Cash’s heart, when he seems to have finally found something he is willing to work toward.
Spitting it all out gives me perspective on my feelings and it’s something I sincerely needed. The feelings are cathartic and complicated, and I feel tears welling up.
“Callie.” She reaches across the table, grabbing my hand. “We all have our own paths. I want to preface this by saying I had a few romances back in my day. Bud wasn’t the first man to invite me to a dance or take me out horseback riding. And, when there are a few men vying for your attention, it’s easy to get lost in it, and get confused. It’s okay.” She pats my hand, looking me in my eyes. “It’s okay to not know what to do. It’s even okay to love them both. You know, because you’re a smart girl, that Cash cares about you. A lot. And seeing his heart broken would be awfully rough for all of us. He’s a good boy, he’s kind and considerate but if he’s not right for you, you’ll know.
“Duke, on the other hand, is intense, and thoughtful. What Indie did to him, the town is still mad about. When she left, we all picked sides. There was no neutral ground. They both grew up in this town, and we watched their love story unfold. Duke worked himself to the bone trying to make a life. He worked ranching for our family before his daddy died, saving all his money. He bought that bar and he worked day and night to give Indie everything she could dream of, but her dreams got bigger, and his world stayed the same. No one around here wants tosee him hurt again. This is a delicate tightrope. I can’t tell you what to do. You will know when it’s time. But take care of you first, honey.” Standing, she pours the coffees I asked for and holds them out. “And Callie, you’re always welcome here and at this table. No matter what happens next.”
I pull her in for a hug. I needed this today. Somehow, she knew. She knew I needed her, like she needed to say her part. I didn’t need permission to love them both, it was too late anyway. But knowing someone else knows fills me with peace.
Knowing thatJim Starkis reporting my comings and goings at the bar to his gossiping wife though, that is not comforting. I’m going to have to air all my dirty laundry to these men who have come to mean the world to me soon or the universe will do it for me.
Chapter 24
Loved By a Cowboy
Cash
When I hear Callie’s little car on the gravel outside the farmhouse, I stop my mindless pacing. The dogs have been circling me all day, trying to figure out why I insist on wearing a line in the rug. Shit, do I run outside or wait for her to knock?
Why, at thirty-four years old, have I decided to become an inexperienced teenager who has no clue what to do, I have no idea. I’ll just go out on the porch and greet her. Yeah, that seems natural. Moving toward the door, the motion is interrupted by her tentative knock, the dogs’ raucous barking following.
I throw the door open to find her standing there, bag in one hand, coffee in the other. I take her in, from thick blonde french braids, one on each shoulder, to the gold chain around her neck that makes me flush with pleasure, the oversized flannel unbuttoned with a tank top underneath, and a pair of tight, worn jeans. On her feet are a pair of cute, but not super practical, boots.
“Hey, Cowboy.” She smirks at my perusal of her as she sweeps me from hatted head to sock covered feet.
“Hey, Hurricane.” I pull her to me, her arms out to protect her breakfast and press my lips to hers. I lick her bottom lip before sucking it between my teeth and biting it. Leaning back, I see her pupils dilated, and a flush across her chest. “Come on, let’s eat, so we can ride. I mean, unless you wanted to consider my other offer?”
“Shameless.” She shakes her head as she kicks off her boots, handing me the coffees so she can put them on the shoe rack next to mine. Is it weird I made sure there was a spot for them, purely for the satisfaction of seeing them lined up next to mine? I decide it’s not. She beelines directly for the table in the kitchen, putting the bag down before coming back and sitting on the floor, crossed-legged, so the dogs get a chance to jump all over her and get their love out before we eat.
I watch as Snapper circles her, debating on jumping on her back, and Tank lays down and puts his grey grizzled face in her lap, giving her hands a few licks.
“Alright, Snapper. Settle down, silly.” She laughs at him as he bounces, grabbing his snout and kissing him. It’s on the tip of my tongue to confess I love her. She’s so comfortable here—happy even. She fits into this place like I built it for her. Standing, she wipes her butt off and goes into the kitchen to wash her hands before sitting.
She looks up at me, still standing, holding the coffee cups, a glazed smile on my face. “Cash, you want to sit? Or maybe bring some plates or something?” She laughs at me just standing there.
“Shit. Sorry, baby.” I move to do the tasks I had neglected while I watched her starry-eyed, finally sitting next to her.
Watching her bounce along, seated on my mama’s old grey mare, Violet, I smile. She was so excited to see the horses—I introduced her to everyone. Daisy, of course, remembered her and searched her for the peppermints I slipped in her pockets as we walked out of the house. Violet smelled, decided she would do, and accepted a long rub down her nose. When she got to Lola, she just leaned on the gate and watched the white horse reverently, some unidentifiable emotion on her face. Almost sorrowful.
“She’s a sweet girl.” I click my tongue, and she moves toward me, extending her head, looking for a treat. I pull an apple from my pocket, which causes Callie to laugh.
