I love the freedom of being able to give—and receive—affection without judgment. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that feeling.
“This is Adam.” I can’t disguise the note of pride in my voice. “My boyfriend.”
It’s the first time I’ve said those words out loud. I let them roll over me, like the waves this weekend, breaking on the beach behind Adam’s house. Gentle, but relentless.
My boyfriend. My boyfriend. My boyfriend.
“The hockey player you told me about?” Hannah asks.
I nod, and she takes a step back to appraise him, eyeballing him up and down like he’s a prize bull on the auction block.
“You’re right.” She nods approvingly. “Heishot.”
“Thanks,” Adam says, not so humbly. “Now you know who I am, but I don’t know who you are.”
She clucks her tongue, just like our mother does when she’s disappointed in one of us. Or I assume she still does. It’s not like I’ve seen her in years. “Please don’t tell me my brother has been keeping me a secret.”
“He hasn’t said much about his family,” Adam says. “About anything, really. I think he likes being a man of mystery.”
My sister shakes her head sadly. “He wasn’t always that way. Not until he met—”
“Hello.” I wave a hand between them, cutting her off because I know where she’s about to go, and I don’t want her to go there, not when I haven’t told Adam about Layton. That’s something he should hear from me, not Hannah. Especially since he spilled his guts to me about Chase. “I’m standing right here.”
“Oops. Sorry,” she says in a tone that screams she’s anything but.
I roll my eyes. “This is my younger sister, Hannah. Who should be miles away from here in Utah.”
“Actually, I should be in Baltimore, on my mission.”
“Your mission?” Adam’s forehead wrinkles.
“I guess Kolby didn’t tell you we’re Mormons, either.” Hannah shoots me an accusatory look. “Well, I am. He was, until he came out and our parents basically disowned him.”
Adam’s expression shifts from confused to cross, his eyes narrowed into cold, dark slits and his mouth a taut, thin line. “You obviously have a lot to talk about with your sister. I should go.”
“Hang on.” I pull out my room key and give it to Hannah. “Wait for me inside. I need a minute with Adam.”
It’s a miracle, but she scoops up her overstuffed backpack from the floor and follows my instructions without mouthing back, leaving me and Adam alone in the hallway.
“What the fuck?” His grip tightens on the strap of his duffel, and I can see his white knuckles. “Who even are you?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Isn’t it? I spill my guts to you about Chase, take you home to meet the parents, but I’m realizing I don’t know a damn thing about your life.”
“That’s not true.” I reach out to put a hand on his arm, but he sidesteps, avoiding me. My throat dries up, and a kind of panicked desperation starts to swell in my chest. “You know the important stuff.”
“Like what?”
A door slams a few feet down the hall, and I pause to let one of the residents go by. She gives me a sympathetic look and a quiet, “Hey, Kolby” as she passes me. Great. Nothing like airing my dirty laundry in public. Hopefully she didn’t hear too much.
“Like who I am now,” I say when she’s gone and I can answer Adam without anyone listening in. “My past is just that. Past.”
“That’s bullshit,” he practically spits at me.
A loud crash comes from my apartment, and I wince. My sister is the queen of the klutzes. Something that’s definitely more cute and endearing from a distance.
“I promise I’ll explain everything. I just need some time to deal with my sister.”
