She was not completely puzzled by the sudden change of subject. She had expected, she had hoped, she had wished, to hear him address her and instead, he spoke of the letter.
“I felt I should inform you, so you could return and settle the affair with Mr. Wickham, especially when I heard his attempt to pollute your name and your character.”
“I returned sooner than I intended because of your letter, but not for Wickham. I returned because I wished to be here.”
She blushed violently. “Mr. Bingley must be very happy that you returned before the ball,” she said, her lips dry under his dark scrutiny.
His nearness was now making her dizzy. She knew she understood him correctly but she still feared trusting her senses.
“I have not come for Bingley either and even less for the ball. I have come because I wish to be nowhere else except where you are.”
She looked at him, bewildered, wordless, incredulous. He spoke further.
“I have long wanted to tell you that, but circumstances did not allow me. First, because you were under my protection at Pemberley, then because I have barely gained your forgiveness after my rude manners at the assembly. Now the time might not be perfect either, but I feel it is better. I have come, but I will stay only if you wish me to.”
She had not time to answer, as the sudden lump in her throat and the grip in her heart made her feel like a silly girl, trembling with joy.
He could not read her silence. “Please do not answer me immediately, Miss Bennet. I do not want to hurry you or to force your answer—”
“I wish to answer you immediately, Mr. Darcy,” she interrupted him. “I do not need time to think. I was sad when you left and happy when you returned. I wish you to stay!”
“Do you? Not as your father’s friend, not as your friend’s brother, but as the man who has ardently loved and admired youfor many months. Someone who watched you leave Pemberley with a broken heart but did not dare ask you to stay.”
She stared at him in disbelief. Did he speak of ardent love that had lasted for months? Those months when she felt she could be nothing more to him than an efficient employee? Could it be possible?
“You wished to stop me from leaving Pemberley?” she asked. “I never imagined… You barely spoke to me during my stay there. I only met you a few times…”
He took her hands in his and brought them to his chest. Barely conscious of what was happening to her, she leaned against him.
“Because I tried to conceal my feelings from you, and from myself. I shall not deceive you and I shall not pretend to be braver than I am. I have admired you from almost the beginning of our acquaintance. But for a long while, I dismissed any possibility of a connection between us, due to the differences between our families. I knew you were everything I have ever desired in a woman, but I felt my desires meant too little compared with my duties and what was expected from me. Until…”
“Until?”
“Until I saw you again here, in Hertfordshire, after weeks of turmoil and despair. At that moment I understood that my duties were not opposed to my desires and that I could better accomplish what is expected of me if I had someone to help me, to support me, to complete me... But then…”
“Yes?”
“My wishes meant little without knowing yours. Yes, I know your good opinion of me, I know your sisterly friendship with Georgiana, I know your father is fond of me. But all this made things more difficult, made me fear and hesitate and doubt. And I still do…”
“I have admired your character from the beginning of our acquaintance, Mr. Darcy and I fell in love with you almost at the same time. I bore the torment of finally knowing what love meant, being certain it was meant to remain forever unrequited. I was flattered and pained by your consideration and your friendship. When I left Pemberley, a part of my heart remained there. I feared, I hesitated, I doubted too. I never allowed myself to imagine, to assume, to hope. But I never imagined our feelings might have been so similar for such a long time.”
“Similar?” he enquired, his arms closing around her. “I doubt it, as I have ardently loved and admired you for a long time, my dearest loveliest Elizabeth.”
She felt she would swoon in his embrace. “So have I, my dearest Mr. Darcy. Do not doubt it for a single moment.”
A moment later, his lips captured hers and she spoke no more. The sweet, tentative, tender kiss soon grew more passionate, just as their feelings were finally freed. She did not swoon in his arms but remained there for a long time and both felt she belonged there. That they belonged to each other.
“Elizabeth?” he whispered after some time.
“Yes?”
“So, will you marry me?”
“Of course I will. Do you still doubt it?”
“Not anymore.” He sealed their complete understanding with another kiss.
“I would like to speak to your father today,” he said when they finally separated a few inches.
