Angry with herself, hurt by the letter’s contents, frustrated by her sister losing her happiness so unfairly, Elizabeth changed her gown with unsteady hands. It was still rather early; she had not been summoned for breakfast yet, so she impulsively pulled out a piece of paper and began to write.
Mr. Darcy,
This is a letter I never imagined I would write and one that you will never read; it is not meant to be sent, just to hold together my present feelings, which are impossible to temper. As you would probably assume, my tumult was caused by the truth you so generously revealed to me and for which I am deeply thankful. The confidence you granted me is received with humblegratitude, and please rest assured, you will have no reason to regret it.
I strongly disagree with your judgment regarding my sister, and I consider this to be an error that has deeply harmed the lives of two lovely people who deserve nothing but happiness.
However, my own errors of judgment were greater, so I have no right to blame others before I blame myself. While other errors might be remedied if there is goodwill, I am certain I shall never forgive or forget mine. I am ashamed to admit how little wit, wisdom, and even common sense I possessed when the circumstances demanded them the most.
Whilst I am sure I was correct in some of my statements, several things that I declared yesterday with ridiculous certitude will forever mortify me…
“Eliza! Are you there? What are you doing? Are you unwell?”
The repeated knock on the door and Charlotte’s panicked voice startled Elizabeth.
“I am here. Just a moment, please.”
She hastily folded the letter she had been writing and hurried to open the door.
Chapter 3
“Forgive me, Charlotte. I was lost in my thoughts. I have just finished a letter to Jane. The poor dear wrote to me days ago and I failed to respond sooner. She is eager to hear from us.”
“Please send her our best regards. She is dearly missed. I hope someday she will visit us too. And I hope her spirits have improved since I last saw her. Eliza, I have wanted to ask… I know you have spoken to Mr. Darcy a few times since he arrived in Kent. Has he ever mentioned Mr. Bingley? Have you enquired after him?”
Elizabeth paused a moment before answering.
“In fact, we did speak on this subject lately and disagreed, as expected.”
“May I ask in what way?”
“Well, Mr. Darcy believes there are some objections to a further connection between Jane and Mr. Bingley.”
“Well, I trust you did everything in your power to convince him he was wrong. I have rarely seen two people so well suited to each other. Now let us go to breakfast, shall we?”
Elizabeth nodded, following her friend.
“I am pleased you are not so pale this morning, Eliza. I hope your headache is gone too. Your crimson cheeks are very becoming, I must say. Such a pity Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam will leave Rosings so soon!”
“Charlotte! If you continue to tease me, my headache might return,” Elizabeth replied with forced laughter.
The Collinses and their guests reunited for breakfast and planned the day ahead. Charlotte wished to visit a young mother who had just given birth and take her a basket of food, and sheasked Maria and Elizabeth to join her. Mr. Collins planned to visit Rosings, though he was not certain he would be received.
Elizabeth was in no disposition for visits, but in the end, at her friend’s insistence, she agreed. Before they had even finished eating, Mr. Collins’s manservant, Dawson, entered, his expression grave.
“What is it?” Mr. Collins immediately enquired.
“Forgive me, sir, I know you wish to be informed when something happens… I heard just now that Dr Blake was summoned to Rosings, and he took with him a nephew, who is also a doctor.”
Mr. Collins immediately abandoned his plate.
“Two doctors? Is anybody ill? Somebody must be ill, of course! I wonder who!”
“I know nothing more, sir. Should I go and find out?”
“Yes, go! No, wait! I shall go myself. We must be discreet — Lady Catherine despises interruptions and values her privacy!”
“Then, my dear, perhaps you should not go,” Charlotte suggested, attempting to calm him. “Let us wait a little longer. Maybe we shall find out the proper way. Did you not say you intended to write some letters to Papa and to Mr. Bennet? Have you done so? Eliza has one to send to Jane in London, so it would be a good opportunity to send them all together. What do you say?”
