SIX
The movement of the carriage increased both Darcy’s headache and his anxiety. Christmas was only two days away, and it was the last opportunity for visits to those who were not family.
“Darcy, I am so glad you agreed to come with me again! You are truly a good friend,” Bingley said.
“Again, you praise me too generously. I hope my presence will not be an intrusion. We both know that you are expected with pleasure in Gracechurch Street, but I am just your companion.”
“I disagree. Mr and Mrs Gardiner seemed thrilled each time they saw you. And even Miss Elizabeth did not look displeased. I am relieved your disagreements seem to be over.”
“Do you think Miss Elizabeth was displeased to see me before?”
“When we were in Hertfordshire, you were not friends. You disapproved of the entire Bennet family.”
“My manners were not appropriate most of the time. Now, I have a personal reason to visit the Gardiners again. I wish to speak to Miss Elizabeth about a delicate matter that I believe needs to be clarified. I hope she will agree to talk to me.”
“She probably will, if not out of curiosity, then due to politeness. But I never imagined you would have a delicate matter to discuss with Miss Elizabeth.”
“This particular matter has become urgent lately, after thorough reflection. She is in possession of some incorrect information that might lead her to make a wrong impression.”
“I see… I honestly cannot imagine what you are talking about, but I doubt you will tell me even if I enquire.”
“It is not a secret. The Bennets seem to appreciate George Wickham, who is welcomed by their family. He is a dishonourable man with an inclination towards deception, lies,and nefarious schemes, all for the purpose of gaining money. Even worse, he is not a man to be trusted near young women.”
Bingley looked at him, bewildered. “I would never have guessed Wickham would be the subject. I remember Miss Bennet asking me about him when he first came to Meryton, but I only told her that he had treated you with ingratitude. It is all I knew.”
“Wickham is not worth the breath used in talking about him. But he is very skilful at insinuating himself among honourable people and causing all sorts of problems.”
“The youngest Miss Bennets seemed charmed by the man, and their mother seemed to encourage them.”
“Yes, that is precisely my concern.”
Darcy had taken the bold — and perhaps improper — decision of talking to Elizabeth and her relatives about Wickham after the dinner at Bingley’s. The party had been pleasant, but there had been some small hints that had proved that Elizabeth still held Wickham in esteem. If Wickham caused her family problems, Elizabeth would never forgive him for not warning her.
That realisation had come late in the night, together with another one, much more important and consequential to his present and future. Watching Elizabeth chatting so easily with his sister and his cousin, as she had done with his aunt, made him wonder why he had considered she was not suited to be the future Mrs Darcy. It was not only his admiration and overwhelming passion for her that caused him to question his previous opinion, but the fact that her worthiness was noticed by everyone with reasonable judgment. And her ability to fight anyone willing to attack her, as Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst did.
He had spent hours imagining Elizabeth at his side at Pemberley, bringing laughter and joy to a house that entirely lacked it. The more he thought about it, the more the image became clearer, less impossible. He knew such a decisionwould not be easily accepted though. Even Lady Matlock would oppose it and would surely consider Elizabeth’s family and connections to be of lesser importance than her charm in such circumstances. And to Lady Matlock, Mrs Gardiner, the cousin of the innkeeper in Lambton, would not be as charming a connection of Mrs Darcy’s as she was of Miss Elizabeth Bennet’s.
And Lady Catherine de Bourgh would certainly cause a scandal if he chose the daughter of a small country gentleman over Anne.
All those points Darcy considered, then dismissed. He only hoped that Georgiana would not be disappointed and that his mother would approve of Elizabeth. He felt — with all his heart — that she was the woman who could complete him, the woman who would make him happy. Just as his mother had made him promise a long time ago. He was also convinced that Elizabeth might help Georgiana grow her confidence and find her own happiness later in life.
As his mind stopped fighting his heart, a strength grew inside him, ready to defeat the weakness of his previous doubts and overcome any obstacles. Any obstacles but one. Elizabeth’s feelings for him, he now had his proof, were quite dissimilar to his, and her opinion of him was far from as high as he had assumed in those two months he had spent at Netherfield.
For many weeks, he had fought against his feelings, his desire to have Elizabeth. Now, when he had decided such a fight was unnecessary, he must fight for Elizabeth’s feelings. He must fight for what he had assumed he already had but had been utterly mistaken.
The first step was to talk to Elizabeth about Wickham and to trust her judgment in deciding where the truth lay.
***
“Mr Darcy, Mr Bingley, you are most welcome,” Mrs Gardiner said. The drawing room was empty, but soon, Elizabeth, Miss Bennet, and Mr Gardiner joined them.
The conversation began easily, as it did among friends. Darcy was anxious, thinking of how to broach the subject, watching the others in agitated silence. He noticed Elizabeth look at him a few times, probably noticing his restlessness. He understood that he could not simply ask for a private discussion with her, or even one with her uncle present. It would simply be impolite.
“Mr Darcy, may I offer you a drink,” Mr Gardiner asked.
“Yes, thank you. No…I mean…forgive me, I do not wish to interrupt you. But when it is possible, I would like to talk about a particular matter…a very delicate one.”
“Oh?”
