“I think so,” Nora said, her voice caught somewhere between disbelief and hysterical laughter.
“This is just…crazy.” Leanne tightened her grip on the wheel, her knuckles turning white as she eased the Lincoln back onto the highway and gunned the engine like that might somehow ground her in reality. Hard to believe that this was really happening.
The radio announcer continued to speak, his voice full of amused disbelief, the same feelings swimming in her mind. “If you’ve seen her, folks, let us know. Frankly, we want to meet her.”
Nora burst into giggles. “Everyone wants to meet Grandma. What is happening? Is she famous now?”
“Seems we’re not the only ones looking for her,” Leanne muttered.
The truth of it hit her like a sudden pothole in the road. Her mother—Eleanor—wasn’t missing. She wasn’t wandering around dazed or confused or lost. She didn’t need Leanne to rush in and rescue her. She was out there singing with rock stars, making friends with DJs, and probably starting philosophical debates with truckers over women’s rights.
And here Leanne was. Squeezing the steering wheel like she might be able to choke the answers out of it, driving across the country as if she were on some noble rescue mission.
But for what?
For autonomy? For joy?
For herself?
She glanced sideways at Nora, who was still laughing, her ponytail bouncing from beneath her tie-dye bandanna as she kicked her bare foot onto the dashboard. The sun glinted off her sunglasses. Nora looked young and carefree and joyful. Exactly how a girl of eighteen should.
Leanne swallowed hard against the guilt rising in her throat.
All her life, she’d tried to be the opposite of Eleanor. Where her mother had been wild and whimsical and unpredictable, Leanne had clung to order. To routine. To crisp table linens, weekly pot roast dinners, and a perfectly penciled grocery list. She had been safe.
And now? Now Eleanor was on a nationwide stage. Literally.
The words from long ago echoed in her ears like a tune she couldn’t shake:“You’re such a square, Leanne.”
At the time, it had felt like an insult coming from her mother. The one person who was supposed to love her unconditionally and not judge her. Now, she wasn’t so sure it was an insult but rather a warning.
What was so wrong with being a little different? A little chaotic? A little…alive?
Maybe the real problem wasn’t that Eleanor had left on a wild adventure. Maybe it was that Leanne had never permitted herself to do the same.
She pressed a little harder on the gas. The wind caught Leanne’s hair and flung it around her face as they sped forward into the sun.
Who was she to stop her mother from doing what she wanted? If what Eleanor really wanted was to sing—to chase a dream that had been collecting dust in the corners of a closet somewhere between raising Leanne and growing old gracefully—then who was Leanne to snatch that away?
Especially now. Especially after reading the words in that letter from the doctor’s office. Since she’d shared the news with Dean and Nora, researched as much as she could, she hadn’t said the worddementiaout loud. But it was there, floating in the passenger seat like an invisible ghost. Not quite real yet, but close enough to haunt her.
When Leanne cleared her throat, Nora was adjusting the radio dial again, catching another burst of a Janis Joplin track.
“Nora?”
“Yeah?” Her daughter tilted her head, sunglasses sliding halfway down her nose.
Leanne hesitated. Then, taking a breath that felt like peeling off a mask, she said, “What if we didn’t make this trip about chasing Grandma to bring her home?”
Nora stared at her for half a beat. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, what if we’re not here to stop her? What if we find her and…support her instead? Cheer her on. But only if you’re okay with it. I know chasing Grandma has sort of ruined your summer plans.”
Nora’s mouth dropped open as if her mother had just donned a daisy chain and traded her high-waisted belt dress for a flower-flowing bohemian smock. Leanne’s heart stuttered in her chest. She wasn’t sure if Nora was appalled or just shocked. If someone had told Leanne when they climbed into the Lincoln and headed out of their driveway that she would say, “Let’s cheer on Grandma,” she was pretty certain her daughter would have laughed and then said something snarky.
“Do you mean it?” Nora’s voice was soft, hopeful.
Leanne let out a breath that she wasn’t even aware she was holding, then nodded.
