“There was no need to protect her as you had thoughts and an intellectual connection, nothing more,” his father assured him.“But yes, it all gets confusing for a year or three. As you get older, you will be able to discern the different kinds of attractions that you will have, and the most important thing will be that you do not act on base instincts to anyone, regardless of station. No one can convict you for your thoughts son, only your actions.” He was nodding when William sat down on the settee next to his mother and she put her arms around him. William processed what his parents had said and after a few minutes he realised they were as correct as always, and it didn’t take too long to see just how much he had erred. He felt a sense of relief as the shame he had felt lifted; for the first time he was able to acknowledge that his thoughts for Lizzy had never been inappropriate in nature. He also learned a most valuable lesson; he did not have all the answers and there were times when he needed to canvass the opinions of others.
“How am I to fix this mess I made?” William asked his parents.
“Yes William,” his mother said with a half-smile,“a mess you did make, but now that you understand what you did and the unintended consequences that were caused, what do you think that you need to do?”
“I need to ride to Snowhaven and apologise!” Both of his parents nodded.
“Allow them a few days to cool down. William and I will send a note to Elaine with a brief explanation, for I fear if you arrived on their doorstep on the morrow, one of your cousins may shoot you on sight!”
William knew that he had a lot of fences to mend, and that he would have to grovel if need be to get Lizzy to forgive him. He was about to leave the study when he remembered the letter he wrote to Bingley. His parents told him that he could not rescind his acceptance without a good reason, so part of his penance would be having to live with Bingley’s sisters for a fortnight. William owned that would be a fitting punishment for his unpardonable behaviour.
Chapter 13
Anne received a note back from Elaine agreeing that William could come to Snowhaven, and no one would shoot him on sight. Armed with that information, William mounted Zeus and accompanied by two footmen guards, headed towards his Uncle’s estate. He knew that it was not going to be easy to atone for the pain that he had caused, and his parents decreed that their son, approaching his sixteenth year, must face the problems his own actions had created.
Zeus was led away by a groom as William slowly mounted the wide stone stairs that led to the castle’s door. Before he made it to the stop step, Andrew and Richard met him on the stairs and both were stone faced.“I should beat you to within an inch of your life for the pain that you have caused my sister,” Richard said, his face inches from Williams.
“It would be justified,” William said sincerely.“There is no excuse for the way that I chose to behave, and I will regret the pain that I caused Lizzy…”
“That is Lady Elizabeth to you, until she forgives you,” Andrew interjected.
“I know I made a right royal mess of things, and I deserve to have my eye blackened for this, in fact both of them! I rather wish it would be as easy as that to atone to her,” William said, as he held his cousin’s eyes so that they could see the truth of his words.
Andrew and Richard were somewhat mollified by what William said and by the heartfelt contrition they could detect, relaxing from the hostile stance they had taken against their cousin.“Do you have any idea how much you have hurt Lizzy?” Richard asked, the hardness gone from his voice proving he had calmed considerably.
“It was never my intent to hurt your sister,” William explained contritely.“If I am allowed, I intend to apologise to her. I will do anything to earn her forgiveness, including grovelling if need be.”
“Before you can earn her forgiveness, you will have to win back her trust, William,” Andrew told his cousin. Satisfied that William’s only aim was to correct his errors, the brothers stepped aside and followed him into the house where all three handed their outerwear to Smythe. William was shown into his uncle’s study, a room he had been in many times before though this was the first time he entered with trepidation.
What William was not aware of as he entered the study was that his Uncle had been beyond furious with his nephew for hurting his daughter; he had intended to disavow him from that point forward until William made reparations in such a way that he was satisfied. He knew this was one instance where an apology would not immediately lead to forgiveness. If the reason for his aloofness was because his nephew was attracted to his seven-year-old daughter, he would whip him himself. He had built up such a rage that when the missive of explanation arrived, he was almost too blind to read it but in the handwriting of his sister, which was surprising enough to force his attention, she equally dispelled his rage with the beginning line of:
Why it should surprise me that my son has the human failings of being stubborn without comprehension of human connection as all teenage boys have, I admit I should have seen sooner. All you boys at that age have the same issue. My son is not attracted to your daughter, Reggie. He is as awed by her as we all are. He is even enamoured with her, but then so are we all; she is the only one of us with whom he discusses subjects we have long forgotten or find no time for, and so he is covetous of her time and her ability to force him to think. Boys rarely force one another to think, my two teenage nephews are more for action than for contemplation of Plato, which my son finds more challenging.
Whip him if you must, but then you must apologise for the rest of us not fulfilling that need for him, and as she is the only one that takes the time and does, I suppose we all must apologise for not understanding his thirst for debate, even though we all recognised it. If you want to take on that task, then that is on you, but it will be hours from your week and longer letters to my son than your own. Or we can let those two who have long shared this connection and understanding not show us how much we have forgotten or lose at every turn. I find myself personally inclined to let them cross one another with words, but if you must punish him, have them be supervised so long as the one doing so is included.
I am sorry that he dared to believe that his love of our Lizzy would seem unseemly, and he did not want to give that impression. We gave him a challenge to explain his love of her to himself and I confess he would rather be beaten then face the hurt he has caused your daughter.
With Anne’s explanation of the nature of the attraction and once it was clear that not only had nothing untoward occurred, but William had not seen Lizzy as an object of desire, plans for a ride to Pemberley, whip in hand, were discarded.
Before he could say a word in greeting, his Uncle Reggie looked at him with what could only be termed as disappointment.“Well, William, what have you to say for yourself?” his uncle asked. William swallowed his pride and chose to tell his uncle the unvarnished truth and explained all, how the feelings of awe and wonder of her had confused him, and his embarrassment had led him to act in the manner that he did.
“I have never been more sorry in my life, Uncle Reggie,” William said in summation.
“If I did not believe you to be sincere, William, I would have had you tossed out of my house by now. It is not hard to understand why you acted as you did, I was young once myself, but understanding your behaviour in no way acquits you of the responsibility of the hurt that you caused my daughter.” His uncle levelled a stare at him that said more than anything that he was on thin ice until he fixed this with Elizabeth.
“I am Uncle Reggie, and it makes my heart ache that my actions reminded Lady Elizabeth of being discarded,” William’s voice strained with the ache of having done so.
“Lady Elizabeth?” the Earl gave his nephew a quizzical look.
“Andrew and Richard,” William explained.
“Ah yes,” his uncle understood and would applaud them for it. His sons had wanted to call William out for the pain he inflicted on their sister, and it had taken much for his wife and him to calm the brothers down to the point that they just wanted to take their pound of flesh from William’s hide.“Wait here while I check with your Aunt to see if Lizzy will see you today.” William nodded, aware that Elizabeth may not be ready to hear his apology yet and he wouldn’t blame her.
Elaine Fitzwilliam looked up as her husband entered their private sitting room. Her daughter was lying on the settee with her head in her mother’s lap as her back was being rubbed. Reggie cleared his throat to garner the attention of the two ladies he loved so dearly. His wife looked at him expectantly while Lizzy sat up.
“Is he here?” Elaine asked pointedly.
“He is, and he would like a chance to address both of you,” Reggie explained.
