Anne nodded her head and then asked a difficult question that was on her mind.“Now that Lizzy has become so well known,” she asked tentatively as Alex squirmed, placing him on his feet to make for his brother and sister sitting with the rest of the young people,“what will happen if her birth family hear of her and realise that she is the Lizzy that was taken from them?”
“Reggie and I have spoken of that eventuality many times,” Elaine said, as she felt her heart contract at the thought of ever losing Lizzy.“If they can prove that they are indeed her parents, then we would relinquish her, of course. But no matter where she lives, she will always be my daughter,” Elaine said as a tear slid down her cheek.“And I will not hesitate to ask that she be allowed to spend some of her year with us so that she can keep us close if she ever needs us. I at least have to ask and pray they see it is with the love of our daughter so they can allow it.”
The next morning, the Darcy carriage made the circuit around the square to load Richard’s trunk while the family wished their sons and young Master Bingley a good and safe trip back to Eton. It was less than four hours, so the boys would be back at their house by the early afternoon. The family stood outside until the carriage turned onto the road from Grosvenor Square.
As William sat with his eyes closed feigning sleep, he was deeply troubled by the attraction that he had begun to find for his Cousin Elizabeth.‘She is but seven!’He admonished himself. It was not just that his cousin had accomplishments that most debutantes could not dream of having, but it was her mind that attracted him the most. He was fifteen now and had recently started to notice the fairer sex in ways that he had never before.
While some women drew his attention and made him want more base needs fulfilled, his time with Elizabeth was the opposite—free of all restraints one usually had when conversing, there was no fear that he was thinking too deep, that she would not challenge him on his stances and conjectures, and that she stimulated his mind.
The problem was that at the age of fifteen William could not separate his attraction to Lizzy’s mind from the bodily reaction that caused his member to take on a life of its own that he had started to have regarding some pretty maids. In his mind they were one and the same, so it seemed perfectly logical to him that he should protect Lizzy from his attraction.
He had feelings that he did not understand, and William hated not being in full control or not having the answers.‘It cannot be. I must fight this inappropriate attraction, Lizzy is just a silly little girl,’he lied to himself.‘I will have to keep my distance from her, and this aberration will pass!’he said, trying to find a solution to the problem that he believed he was creating. He felt better now that he had come to a decision. He knew that he would have to be exceedingly careful because if he ever did anything to hurt their sister, he would have to answer to Andrew and Richard, and then the rest of the family, including his own parents.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
“Am I bad father because I do not think of Lizzy every day anymore?” Bennet asked his wife as they lay in bed one night in post-coital afterglow. Tammy slapped her husband’s arm playfully.
“Thomas Bennet,” she said as she made sure that she looked into his eyes.“There is no better father than you. It has been over six years so it is only natural that you do not think of her all the time, but I am as certain of the fact that you will never forget her as I am of how deeply I love you.”
Bennet kissed his wife soundly.“Thank you, Tammy, you always know how to make me feel better,” he said lovingly.
“Is that not why you married me, silly man?” she asked as she teased him.“You always feel good to me,” Tammy added saucily.
“Marrying you was the best thing that I have ever done,” Bennet said as he feathered kisses down her neck.
“Thomas,” Tammy got his attention as she changed the subject,“are you disappointed that I never became with child again after Kitty and Tom?”
“How could I be? And you call me silly!” he punctuated with a kiss.“With Lizzy included we have seven children in the family. No, I am not sorry about not having more. As it is, besides Lizzy being taken from us, God has been exceptionally good to us.”
Tammy could not but agree with her husband and soon fell asleep in his arms, as she had every night since they had married.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
Young George Wickham was getting more and more resentful. Here he was doing menial labour because his adoptive father now made him work for his allowance. He remembered the conversation they had had a few weeks prior.
“George, I need to talk to you,” the older Wickham stated after dinner one night. The younger man nodded sullenly and followed the older to the small parlour in the house and they both sat down.
“Yes, father,” the son said, even though he inwardly railed against calling this man such, for now he had no choice.
“You will soon be fourteen,” Mr Wickham pointed out,“a lot of boys of our station start working and contributing when they are ten or eleven.” Seeing his son about to object vociferously, he continued before he was interrupted.“I never expected that of you and neither do I now. However, to learn some responsibility, from now on if you want your allowance you have to earn it by helping to work our small farm.”
George Wickham bristled at the mention of‘station.’He was supposed to receive a gentleman’s education, not deal with the swill of swine! When his real father returned from London, he would set Mr Wickham to rights!
“But William Darcy does not have to work for…” George started to say when his father cut him off.
“No matter what you tell yourself, you are not the same as the Darcys and you are not entitled to anything, and will you please get rid of that fool notion that you are Mr Darcy’s natural son.YOU ARE NOT!” Mr Wickham, who generally did not raise his voice, did so now. He was at his wit’s end as no matter how many times or who told him that what his mother told him was false, George had latched onto it as a starving cur would a bone.
As in the past, George did not hear that which was not part of the narrative in his head, so he decided that his father was jealous of his birth and connections so far above his own. The adolescent determined that he could not live like this any longer, that he would need to act sooner rather than later so that he could start living as would befit a man of his status.
Chapter 12
December 1798
It was the Darcys’turn to host, and both families were well settled at Pemberley, which was covered in a fresh blanket of snow. The family was enjoying their time together, as they always did, and Andrew was regaling them with tales from his first half year at Cambridge. Well, everyone was as happy as usual except for two members of the family.
Elizabeth was looking forward to seeing Will again to see what books that they had both read since seeing him in September, hoping at least one was in common as she enjoyed their debates about the books as much as he did, or so she had always believed. For some unfathomable reason William seemed distant to her this visit. He was as polite as he ever was, but whenever she would try and engage him in one of their discussions about a book or other subject, it seemed that he was always busy or had something else that he was about to do.
William could see that he was upsetting his cousin, but he was not sure if there was another way that he could create some distance between them. He had debated talking to someone, but he let his embarrassment overrule that possibility, and besides, he did not know who he could talk to. It did not register with him that none of his thoughts about Lizzy were sexual in nature, but he did not yet have the ability to understand the difference. When the weather allowed it, he took long, punishing rides on Zeus. He did know one thing for certain, he was as unhappy as his little cousin was. He missed their talks and debates over books and other things, and he was punishing himself as much as he was her, but he felt that it was what he needed to do.
