I almost smile. “He made coffee this morning. Bought muffins. Didn’t make a single joke about me getting emotional.”
Sadie studies me carefully now. “And?”
“And nothing.”
Her head tilts. “You like him.”
I open my mouth to deny it, then close it. “He hasn’t tried anything,” I admit. “In fact, I kissed him.”
Sadie stills.
“Twice.”
Her brows shoot up. “Okay, well, that’s very different fromnothing.”
Heat creeps up my neck. “And I want to do it again.” There, it’s out. And instead of feeling better, I somehow feel worse.
Sadie’s expression shifts. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” I frown.
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“I just-,” I release her arm and plop down on the sofa, exhaling in frustration. “He stops. Every time it actually starts to matter, he stops.”
Sadie starts to laugh, but then covers her mouth with her palm when I flash an angry glare in her direction. “This is not funny. I thought he was supposed to be a bad boy rockstar who hooks up with anyone?”
“Quinn,” Sadie grabs my hand, “this is not a problem with Mikey.”
I frown. “Then what do I have?”
“You have a timing problem. And a man who sounds like he’s trying not to screw up what could be a good thing.”
That lands. Hard. I stare down at the hardwood floor, my cheeks flushing at my next admission. “He usually sleeps with anything that has a pulse.”
Sadie’s eyes soften. “You’re embarrassed.”
“I guess.” I shrug. “Why not me?”
“Maybe he doesn’t want to take advantage. Plus, you are my little sister. Maybe he thinks I’ll murder him if he does anything to hurt you.”
“Maybe.” I cover my hand over my mouth as a small laugh escapes, then exhale slowly. “I just don’t know if maybe he doesn’t want me now that he’s seen me fall apart.”
Sadie’s mouth twitches like she’s holding back a smile. “Oh honey.”
“What?”
“He’s been looking at you like he’s trying not to trip over his own feet since you walked into that garage in New York.”
My heart stutters. “But that was just me teasing him. I was being playful and fun. That was me living my best rockstar life for a day. Maybe he’s not into the real me.”
“It’s definitely not that.” She shakes her head. “He’s crazy about you. Even Dean has noticed,” she adds casually.
“That’s worse.”
Sadie squeezes my hand. “He’s giving you time. That’s not rejection. That’s restraint.”
The word lands heavy. Restraint. I swallow. Because the truth is, I don’t want restraint anymore. I know I pushed him away first, but that’s when I thought he was the world’s biggest player. And after kissing him, twice, I’m ready for so much more. But suddenly I’m terrified that if I make the first move again, and he says no,again, I won’t recover from it.
