“You want to get some dinner?”I ask while opening her door.
She hesitates for just a moment before looking up at me.“Actually,” her fingers tighten around the strap of her bag.“Do you just want to come to my place?”
The invitation takes me off guard, my brow shooting up as I lock my gaze with hers.I realize she’s choosing me again and a warmth floods through me I wasn’t expecting.
“I’d like that.”
An hour later, Vanessa stands barefoot in her kitchen stirring pasta while Vinny circles my legs demanding attention.The apartment smells like garlic and wine and it feels like coming home.
And maybe it’s exhaustion, maybe it’s relief, or maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t slept through the night in over a week, but for the first time since she left my apartment that morning, I feel myself relax.
Vanessa glances over her shoulder while pouring wine into two glasses.“You’re very quiet over there.”
“I’m okay.Just tired.”
Concern flickers across her face.“Are you sleeping at all?”
“A little, but mostly not.”How do I explain to her that a part of me feels like it’s missing when she’s not in my bed.
Dinner happens slow and comfortable after that.The conversation is easy and we share careful touches across the table.Vinny steals chicken off my plate like a tiny criminal, and it only makes me love him more.
And somewhere around nine-thirty, when Vanessa disappears down the hall to switch laundry, I fall asleep on her couch.The next thing I register is warmth brushing carefully through my hair.I blink slowly awake to dim apartment lighting with Vanessa curled beside me beneath a blanket, one hand resting against my chest.
“Sorry,” I murmur, moving to sit up.“I didn’t mean to?—”
“Hey.”Her fingers glide up into my hair again.“It’s okay.”
I stare at her for another long second.“You should’ve woken me.”
“You looked like you finally stopped fighting yourself for five minutes.”The words hit harder than they probably should.Emotion lodges thick in my throat, because I know she’s right.Vanessa watches me in silence as she continues to stroke her fingers through my hair.
“Luc and Lily are doing brunch Saturday.”I say the words without thought.
“Okay.”A tiny smile touches her mouth.
“I thought maybe we could go together.”
“I would love that, Hayden.”Her body snuggling closer to mine as she replies.
And just like that, I realize opening doors is so much easier than I thought, especially when I know I’m going to walk through them with her.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Vanessa
Just Like Heaven
The Cure
Snow falls from the sky the entire way to Luc and Lily’s house.The kind of slow December snowfall that turns Chicago quieter somehow, softening sharp edges beneath twinkling white Christmas lights while Hayden drives one-handed beside me out of the city.
He’s quieter than usual again today.He’s not closed off, but I can tell he’s tense, nervous.I notice it in the little things he does.The way his fingers flex once against the steering wheel at red lights.How he checks twice to make sure I’m warm enough.The way his eyes keep flicking toward me like he’s reassuring himself I’m still here.
And it occurs to me all at once thatthis is hard for him.Not the bringing me to brunch part, but the letting me into this part of his life.This is new for him.He’s never opened himself up to anyone else like this before.
I reach across the console and slide my hand into his.Hayden’s grip tightens without hesitation.His eyes flick toward me before softening around the edges.“Thank you.”
“For what?”I tilt my head as I stare over at him.
