I blink back the tears starting to form at the rim of my eyes.Christ.This man.
“I’m trying to learn how to do this better,” he says after another moment.“Not just with us.With everything.”
I stay quiet.Listening.Because everything he’s saying matters.
“I know now that loving you isn’t complete if I keep it hidden away.”His eyes lift fully back to mine.“And I know saying that means nothing if I don’t actually prove it.”
My heart stumbles hard against my ribs.Because this, this right here, is everything I want to hear from him.I don’t need perfection.I just need him to understand.
“I don’t expect you to magically trust me overnight,” His fingers reach across the table and touch the tips of mine.“But I need you to know I heard you, and I love you, all of you, and I don’t want to hide that.”
Tears burn behind my eyes as I realize he really did hear every word I said.He not only listened to every word I said, heheardme.“I know Hayden.I love you too.”
Silence settles for a moment between us afterward, warm and fragile beneath candlelight and wine and the soft music drifting through the restaurant.Then Hayden lets out a long exhale.“There’s something I want to ask you.”
Nerves twist low in my stomach as his expression shifts, his hand sliding from the top of mine to grip onto the tumbler in front of him.He looks more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen him before.
“Christmas Eve is…” He pauses like he’s choosing his words carefully.“It’s hard for me.”
The understatement in that sentence alone tells me how significant this moment is.Hayden looks down again for a second before continuing, a slight shake now apparent in his voice.“I go to see my parents every year.”
Something in my chest stills.Because Hayden almost never talks about his family.His eyes lift until they lock back on mine.“And this year,” His voice roughens even more.“I don’t want to do it alone.”
Emotion swells like a tsunami through me.Not because of the invitation itself, but because I understand what it costs him to offer it.
“Would you come with me?”
The question lands like a thud between us.The vulnerability he’s exposing is so much more than Hayden telling me he missed me, or even that he loves me.
This is Hayden opening a door he has kept bolted shut and is now asking me if I’m willing to step through it with him.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Hayden
I Melt With You
Modern English
The kiss outside her apartment lasts exactly three seconds, and not because I want it to be quick.But because I don’t trust myself not to ruin everything if it lasts longer.
Vanessa’s gloved fingers curl into the front of my coat while snow drifts around us beneath the streetlights, her mouth warm and familiar and dangerous against mine.
Every instinct I have wants to follow her upstairs, pin her against the inside of her apartment door and then lose entire days inside her bed until this ache between us disappears.But that’s the problem, isn’t it?I’ve spent months loving her in private.
So, when I pull back, it’s deliberate and careful.Her eyes search mine, and for one terrible second I wonder if she thinks I’m rejecting her.Christ, all this second guessing is exhausting.
“I want nothing more than to take you upstairs,” I murmur, brushing my thumb once across her cheek.“but, I don’t want to rush this.I don’t want to confuse things.”
Something vulnerable flickers across her face then.It’s not quite sadness.I realize it’s hope, and that eases something in my chest.Hope is a good thing.It means she wants this as much as I do.
“Goodnight, Nessa.”
“Goodnight, Hayden.”
I force myself to step away first and it is, without a doubt, the hardest fucking thing I’ve done all week.The next morning, I stare at my phone for a solid five minutes before finally getting up the nerve to text her.
Good morning.
