So she stayed where she was, readied herself for bed after checking that her travel bag was full, and tried to go to sleep. They were leaving early in the morning, sailing to Inverness. The weather looked to be fine. She hoped something would be.
Erik didn’t return before she dropped off to sleep. She woke before dawn to discover he had not returned at all. She got up and dressed, ate some of the bread and cheese she’d set by to break her fast, picked up her bag, and went to Cook’s cot. He and the guards going with them were there, ready to go. Fiona looked around outside as they made their way to the cliff’s edge and still didn’t see Erik. With a resigned shrug, she followed the men down the path to the beach and the waiting birlinn. He wasn’t there, either.
“Has anyone seen him?” she asked Cook quietly.
“I dinna ken, lass, butdinna fash. I’m sure he’s all right.”
The whole way, she fretted about Erik. She couldn’t believe he’d let her leave without saying goodbye or good voyage or something. Had she gone too far in chastising him? Was this the end of their marriage? When Inverness came into view, a sense of homesickness filled her. She’d enjoyed living here. She hadn’t been a pawn of clan chiefs. She’d lived a simple life caring for Arabella in a house that was not a burden to care for.
Did it still stand? It must. She saw no sign of fire damage save for the bridge, and work was already underway to rebuild it. She led the men to her house, having told them it belonged to a friend who allowed her to stay as she needed. As long as it still stood, they would have lodging. And, she thought, as long as no one else had taken it over in the time she’d been away.
To her great relief, it was empty of people. The furnishings were still inside, her clothes were in the chest upstairs, as were Arabella’s. It looked like nothing had been touched. She could move back in here today if she wished. And if Cook and the four Ross guards with her could be convinced to return to Ross and face their laird without her.
What were the chances of that? She knew better. And that Erik would come looking for her if she tried it. Nay, she’dcommitted to Erik and to Ross. Inverness was no longer home, just a place to visit as they needed.
The next morning,they made their way to the market square, where Fiona immediately felt at home. “Merchant Aedan! How lovely to see ye. What do ye have for me today?”
The merchant turned at Fiona’s voice and grinned. “Lovely wee Fiona, lass. Where have ye been? Everyone in the market has missed ye. We kenned about Arabella. So sad. But ye. Tell me!”
“First, have ye seen Hamish lately?”
“I heard he’s back, but I havena spoken with the lad. Master Sinclair keeps him busy, I’m told. He lived at the master’s home, too, before the bridge burned, but ye ken that.”
“If ye see him, give him my regards, will ye? And tell him to contact me if ever he has the need.” Fiona had thought Hamish might come to her house, knowing it was empty and likely to stay that way. She’d have been pleased to have him as a lodger, but it appeared he’d gone back to the life and the work he knew.
“Of course, lass. Will he ken where to find ye?”
Fiona glanced around. Cook had moved off to the next stall and with negotiations going on at full throat all around them, she would be safe telling Aedan what had happened to her since the day of the fire. She finished with, “Arabella left her house to me. I own it now.”
“Will ye move back? Nay, how can ye? Ye are a clan’s lady now.”
“’Tis no’ as wonderful as ye might expect. I yearn for the sights and sounds of town, and the people I ken here.Familiar friends. My husband has good intentions, but his responsibilities weigh heavily on him.”
“Lots of arguments, eh?”
“Some. He willna harm me, but I sometimes tire of the discord, and the pressure of my own responsibilities as lady. That is naught I ever thought to bear.”
“Yet ye bear them with grace,” Cook said, coming up behind her. “Ye have already accomplished so much good for the clan. And now, we must do more before we make our way home.”
Fiona froze. How much had Cook heard?
The spent the rest of the day acquiring what they needed from the various vendors Fiona knew. Cook often visited different vendors, seeing what there was to be had, which gave Fiona a chance to catch up with merchants, such as her friend the baker, while he was out of earshot.
As the day went on, a pair of the guards carried their purchases back to her house while the other pair stayed nearby. That evening, Cook made dinner, then sent the guards to carry some of their supplies and stow them on board and leave two of them to sleep on thebirlinnto keep it safe. Two returned to the house and would help bring the rest of their supplies to thebirlinnin the morning.
While the guards were gone, Cook admitted he’d heard most of what Fiona had said to the merchant Aedan.
Fiona couldn’t deny what he’d heard from her own lips. “’Tis true. This is now mine,” she said, raising a hand to take in their surroundings.
“And ye are tempted to return here, are ye no’? To stay.”
She couldn’t deny that either. The truth of it had to be plain on her face. “I am, and yet, I am no’. I never sought to be a clan’s lady. Erik arrived and before I kenned what happened, I was wed. Aye, I agreed to it, but there was little time to consider more than keeping four clans from destroying each other.”
“Yer laird must have pleased ye in some way.”
“Of course he did. He does. He’s handsome and kind to me, and determined to make life better for his people. He’s a good man. But he has a temper.”
“Many of Ross do. But by now ye must have seen that Ross needs ye more than ye need to be here.”
