Madeleine cornered her in the great hall just before the evening meal. “Ye must calm yerself, lass. Ye are upsetting everyone else.”
“How can I? Jamie is out there somewhere. He should have come back today. The storm is over. Where is he?” She wrung her hands, her distress overwhelming her, forcing her to fight back tears. “Why isna he home?”
“He will be lass. Ye must cling to that thought, as I do for Magnus’s sake, and for Jamie’s. They will be home. If not tonight, then tomorrow. They will arrive, or the searchers will find them and bring them home.”
“Alive?” Caitrin choked on the word.
“Aye, lass. ’Tis cold outside, but ’tis naught they havena borne many times through travel and in battle. Jamie kens what to do, even if Magnus is injured.”
“What if they both are?”
“Then our men will find them. Cling to that. Now calm yerself and take yer place at the head table with yer da and me.”
Caitrin nodded and did as she was bid. She made it through the meal, doing her best to ignore the sympathetic glances and subdued murmur of conversation in the hall. As soon as her da stood to go, she did as well and returned to her chamber where she paced through the night, dozing only when her legs would not support her any longer.
Bright sunlight woke her. It was morning! Were they back? Or had the searchers gone out again? Why had she heard nothing in the bailey?
The faces in the great hall told her before she had to ask. Men had gone out again. Caitrin went back upstairs and changed into riding clothes, rolled up several plaids and carried them with her down the stairs. She was headed to the kitchen to get food and cider when Madeleine intercepted her.
“Where do ye think ye are going?”
“Ye ken where I am going or ye wouldna have stopped me.”
“Lass, I ken ye are worried for Jamie, and for a future without him, especially now that yer da can nay longer assume his duties as he once did. But what if Jamie returns and ye are no’ here? What do ye think that will do to him? Ye must do the hardest part and wait.”
“I have been waiting. I canna any longer. I must find him.”
“Do ye trust yer husband? The greatest Lathan scout?”
“I do, but?—”
“Nay, dinna finish that sentence. Ye trust him. Ye ken he is well and will return—with my guardsman—as soon as he can.”
“I ken ye believe what ye are telling me. I want to believe it, too.”
“Then do what ye can. Help yer da. Set an example for the clan that will reassure them.”
Madeleine was worried for the men, too. Caitrin was being selfish, lost in her own fears and paying no attention to anyone else, or to the effect she was having on them.
“Ye are right, of course,” Caitrin told her. She set aside her plaids and went back to the kitchen to ensure plenty of food would be out soon for all of those waiting for the return of their men.
She noticed a lass in the corner by the hearth, head in her hands. As she approached, she could see the lass was crying, andcloser, below the tabletop, it became clear the lass was expecting—and soon. “Dinnafash,” she told her, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. “What can I get for ye? Have ye broken yer fast?”
The lass lifted her head and her eyes widened. “My lady!”
“Forget that for now. Have ye eaten anything?”
The lass shook her head and Caitrin signaled to a serving lass to bring food and drink. “Ye ken I’m waiting for my husband,” Caitrin told her, sitting next to her on the bench. “Who are ye waiting for?”
“My husband went out into that storm. I fear he willna come back and I will have to care for our bairn alone.” She rubbed a hand over her belly.
Caitrin nodded. “We all fear for our men, but they are well used to being out in weather like this. When is yer bairn due?”
“Any day now,” the lass admitted and fresh tears trailed down her cheeks. “My mother is in our croft. I came with my husband, and now I canna get back.”
“The healer is here should ye have need of her. Ye will be well cared for, no matter when the men return.”
“Thank ye, milady.”
