The time had arrived to get the other Lathans together and plan an exit strategy. Several, in fact, depending on how the next few days went. They could not do much until Fletcher was ready to travel, especially if, as Jamie feared, they found it necessary to leave in a hurry. But Jamie would get Caitrin out, even if he had to leave her father behind.
Chapter Ten
After the evening meal, Caitrin returned to her father’s bedside. He slept fitfully, turning his head and shrugging one shoulder as if dreaming he still lay trapped under the horse, trying to extricate himself. She reached out and touched his arm. “Ye’re fine, Da. Go to sleep. All is well.” She sighed with relief when he settled and his breathing deepened into soft snores. But her worries didn’t end there.
He’d always been her protector. Even when he sent her to live with the Lathans. And, she supposed, even here. Now, she must shelter him as best she could by overseeing his care. She would have to rely on the Lathans for defense from the MacGregor and his men, if such was needed.
Yet, she must be wary of any time she spent with Jamie. She wanted to tell him what she thought her father had said about MacGregor, but if she was wrong, the results could be disastrous. This was between her and her father, at least for now. Besides, she couldn’t separate her present feelings for Jamie from her girlhood crush, nor from her sense of responsibility to her clan. Was she really so attracted to him? Things were different now that she was here and had met MacGregor. The man her father intended to be her husband intimidated her, aye, but he seemed to have a softer side as well. Yet, he had left her father trapped beneath a horse to pursue a boar. Jamie appeared to accept that decision as a prudent course of action under the circumstances. How could she know? She’d never been on a boar hunt. Perhaps Alasdair had made the correct judgment call as to which posed the greater danger to her father. Either way, thank the saints Jamie had been there to begin digging him out.
Was she overly fond of Jamie because of their childhood closeness? Or attracted to the man he’d become in the years since she last saw him? And was he truly attracted to her, or did she misread his fondness for the lass he used to know? Caitrin leaned her head against the wall behind her chair and closed her eyes. Fatigue robbed her of the ability to figure out something so complicated. But somehow, she would have to be sure of her mind—and heart—before her father signed the marriage contract. It would seal her fate. She had to know what she truly wanted before that happened.
“Lass, are ye asleep?”
She thought for a moment she’d dozed off and dreamt Jamie’s voice. But the big hand on her shoulder startled her into opening her eyes. There he stood, concern written in every line of his posture as he bent toward her, and in the frown lines between his eyes.
She gave him a rueful smile. “Had I been, I wouldna be now, would I?”
Jamie straightened and glanced toward her father. “How is he?”
“Asleep. He was restless earlier. He seemed to be dreaming about being trapped under the horse, but he settled down when I spoke to him.”
“That’s good, then. How are ye?”
She shook her head and gazed at her father. “I’ve been better. But I dinna dare leave him alone in a strange keep in his condition.”
“That’s a wise precaution, lass. I hesitate to mention this, but after giving it some thought, I think ye need to ken something. It seemed to me, MacGregor enjoyed seeing yer da hurt.”
Caitrin gasped and glanced toward her father. He slept on.
“Is that why ye have been against the match?” Jamie took her hand. “Or does yer reaction mean ye are surprised because ye havena seen any sign of cruelty in him?”
She shook her head. “Ye’re scaring me, Jamie.”
“I dinna mean to, only to make ye cautious. From now on, if ye need to leave yer father, I’ll have one of my men stand vigil. Come,” he said, tugging her to her feet. “I’ll escort ye back to yer chamber so ye can get some rest. Ye must be fashed.”
“What if ye canna find yer men? They could be anywhere in this great keep.”
“Then I’ll return and sit with him myself. Will that do?”
Conscious of the aches in her back, neck, shoulders, and head brought on by hours of tension and worry, Caitrin consented. “It will. I dinna ken why Alasdair would behave that way, either, but…thank ye, Jamie. Ye are a good friend to us.”
Jamie merely nodded, and she wondered if he had trouble deciding how to respond. Now that she thought about it, calling him “friend” did seem rather distancing. She wished she could take it back. Though it was true. It must be, or he would have found an excuse to return to the Aerie and would have left her to her father’s ambitions. But what could she have said to him, she wondered, as they made their way from Fletcher’s sickroom. That she valued his friendship and always had? That she wanted him to be more, if he wanted her? Ach, stop this. Such thoughts would do neither of them any good.
They found Jamie’s men in the great hall. He assigned them to watch over her father, relieving her mind. Each man would take several hours through the night and early morning. Unless her father awoke and called for her, she could sleep undisturbed and unworried.
With that decided, Caitrin found her fatigue deepening. She leaned on Jamie’s arm as he led her down the shadowy hall to her chamber. Candles flickered in sconces only at the turn onto the hall, and at the far end. The door to her chamber loomed in near-darkness. They stopped before it.
“Go to yer rest. We’ll keep yer da safe.”
Jamie’s hand gave her warm comfort in the small of her back as he turned her to the door. Caitrin kept turning, right into his arms. She craved the comfort of his touch, so she put her arms around his waist, hugging him close. When he didn’t respond, she feared he would set her from him rather than accept her embrace. Then his arms encircled her and his cheek ruffled her hair.
“’Twill be all right, lass.”
Her tears started then, her eyes welling, warm tracks running down her face. How had she gotten into this mess? She needed the comfort of Jamie’s arms around her, his scent in her nose, the steady beat of his great heart against her ear. She couldn’t imagine asking this of Alasdair MacGregor. She didn’t think his hand would be as large and warm as Jamie’s. Or that he’d have the patience to stroke her back from her waist to the nape of her neck and back again, calming her. Would his heat envelope and soothe her? Would his scent please her like Jamie’s? Nay, she didn’t think they would.
She turned her face up, and her heart lifted when he dipped his head to kiss her.More.She wanted more. She shifted just enough to wrap her hands behind his head, pulling him closer, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Aye, this is what she needed.
Jamie broke off the kiss to whisper in her ear. “Ach, Caitrin, ye’re heaven in my arms.”
