“I’m scared she’s going to pull you away from me. I can’t lose you again, Clover Jane. I didn’t want to the first time.”
He tightens his arms around me. “I’m so sorry, Clover. I genuinely thought I was doing something that was good for you,” he continues. “You had these big dreams, and you were so ready to get out of Ashstone Ridge. I didn’t want to hold you back.”
I stay silent, allowing him to get everything off his chest.
“I was a fucking coward, though. I let you go when I should’ve gone with you. I should’ve supported your dreams. I could’ve gone to veterinary school anywhere. Hell, I could’ve even told you I’d wait for you; I’d wait forever for you, but I didn’t. I was scared and took the easy way out. Well, what I thought was the easy way out.”
He brushes my hair away from my face. “When you told me you loved me, begged me not to do what I did . . . it killed me inside. For a minute, I changed my mind. I was going to tell you I loved you too, that I had loved you for longer than I even realized. For a split second, I saw our lives. You had my babies, we had family dinners every week, and you didn’t move away. But then I remembered the excitement on your face when you opened that letter and knew I couldn’t take that from you.”
He runs the pad of his thumb gently across my cheek. “I don’t regret it, because I have Lennon. Listen, I’m not gonna run this time. I’d understand if you want to, this isn’t your fight . . . but I’m not letting you go again if it’s my choice. Clover Jane, I love you. I’ve loved you all along, and there isn’t a chance in hell I can keep going without being able to tell you that every day. I’m yours, if you’ll let me be.”
I’m not sure if he can feel me violently sobbing on his chest, but if he can, he’s being very kind by not pointing it out. When I nod but can’t say anything else, he pulls me to him and presses his lips to mine in the most intoxicating kiss I’ve ever had. So many years of emotions, all different, are poured into this kiss. The anger. The hurt. The need. The safety. I roll myself over him,straddling his waist, leaning over to not break our contact. I kiss him over and over, and in between kisses, he asks.
“Will you let me love you, my Lucky girl? Will you stay? Will you let us be yours?”
When I breathe my answer, he pulls at the hem of my shirt, tugging it over my head. We are a mess of limbs, clumsy movements as we try to get each other’s clothes off as quickly as possible. I need my skin against his.
“Yes,” I tell him. “I’ve always been yours, too.”
He wraps his arms around me and pulls himself up long enough for me to pull his shirt over his head, kiss me, and lie back again. I run my hands along his hips, stomach, and chest, taking in every bit of him that I can. Years of physical labor have clearly done wonders for his body. He’s always been pretty fit, but this is a different level. When I move my hands back down his body and graze my fingertips along the V-cut near his hips, he groans.
He’s been hard under me the whole time, but when I touch him here, I feel his cock twitch and it makes me smile. “Do you like that, Beck?” I ask lowly. He hums an ‘mhm’ and I do it again. Same reaction. I slide myself down his legs lean over, pressing a soft kiss where my fingers just were. I hear him suck air in through his teeth. “So sensitive,” I tease.
When I drag my tongue along the groove of his hips, a moan escapes him and he puts his hand over his dick, rubbing himself through his sweatpants. “Nu-uh,” I tell him, tsking my tongue at him and moving his hand away. He growls in frustration, which obviously encourages me more. I hook my fingers into the waistband of his sweats and pull them down. When his cock springs free, I’m a little shocked. “Not wearing underwear?” I ask curiously.
He chuckles. “Learned from the best, I reckon,” he says. The end of his sentence is strained, though, because I take him intomy mouth, taking as much of him as I can fit before gagging. Ragged breathing comes from him as I blow him, eventually relaxing my jaw enough to allow more of him. I pull back up slowly and move my mouth away from him. “Fuck, Clover. That’s so hot,” he says, almost admirably, as I replace my lips with my hand, pumping him rhythmically while I stare up at him.
The only light I really have to watch him by is the moonlight, but I’m grateful for it. Watching his mouth drop open as I continue to jerk him off, the way his eyes close when he moans, and the intensity in his eyes as I let go of him right when he’s close to coming.
“Clover,” he cautions. “I’m not gonna fuckin’ last if you do that too much, darlin’.”
I smile sweetly at him in response. I move to kneel beside him and kiss him, taking his bottom lip between my teeth and gently biting down. A deep moan escapes him, and it lowers more when I wrap my hand around his shaft again, continuing the rhythmic pattern.
“Fuck, Clover,” he calls out, reaching for the hem of my shorts. I wiggle out of them quickly and get back to the task at hand.
“Please,” he whispers, and I’m putty. He pulls me back to him and I straddle his hips, sinking down onto him a little bit at a time, letting my body get used to his size again.
BECKETT
Her head dropping back as she gets every inch of me inside of her, and the million stars behind her is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. I place my hands on her hips and hold her there to keep her still. If she moves even a bit right now, I’m done.
She whines quietly but stays put. I massage her hips with my thumbs while we wait, relishing in the fact that this ethereal fucking woman is choosing me. Again. Clover gently begins rocking her hips forward and back, and I’m ready. “Okay, Lucky,” I tell her. “Take what you need.”
She leans over and puts her hands on my chest, using me for stability as she carefully starts riding me. I weave my arms through hers and unbutton her cute little hedgehog pajama top, exposing her gorgeous tits that are swaying to her motion, her perfect puffy nipples begging for me to pinch them, so I do.
I feel her tighten around me. She likes a little bit of pain, I’ve learned. She also likes causing it. My feral girl loves scratching, biting, clawing, and hair pulling. This isn’t the time for that, though. I’ve never wanted to be so intimate with someone before, and it’s kind of daunting. I want it to be perfect for her. It’s not like I’m taking her virginity, and we’ve already fucked,but something about this is so . . . reverent. I feel like we will look back on this exact moment and know that it meant something.
I gently move her off of me, make sure the blankets are piled in a way that keeps her back comfortable, and position myself between her legs. She wraps them around my waist and I lower myself to her, pressing one palm into the bed of the truck to hold myself steady while I use the other to slide back into her.
I’m not hurried. I want to take my time with her, to make sure she knows I fucking cherish her. I set a steady pace, watching her face as she reacts to what feels good, her back arching a little when I’m fully inside of her, when I grind into her while I’m bottomed out. The way her eyes roll back when I reach down to run my thumb over her clit.
She reaches up to me, softly rests her hand on my cheek, and stares up at me. I’m thankful for moonlight tonight, because I watch the way she searches my face like I have all the answers, and I pray that I do.
“You feel so good, Beck,” she whispers, sliding her hand from my cheek to the back of my head, tangling her fingers in my hair. “So fucking good.”
I feel the pressure building when she says that, and I know I’m about to finish, but I need her to finish first. I pick up the speed and we stare at each other, breathing heavily. When I feel her contracting around me, I brush one of her curls away from her face.
“I love you, Clover Jane.”
