Jonathan tugs a shirt over his head and pulls on boxer shorts under his towel. He’s never been one for nudity in front of Cece, which has always struck her as deeply funny, but she’d never said anything, even when he insisted they always turn off the lights before sex. “What were you doing out?”
“I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a walk. You guys weren’t exactly quiet.”
“No. I can’t imagine we were,” Jonathan says, tidying his hair in the mirror.
“Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Is it true? What Logan said? About that kid getting kicked out for drugs that weren’t his?”
“Logan’s an idiot. Half the things he says are lies and the other half are exaggerations.”
“It didn’t sound like a lie.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Is it true?”
Jonathan grabs his Shinola watch and squints while he struggles with the glossy leather band. “It’s not one of my prouder moments.”
“You just let it happen?”
“It was a long time ago.”
“You could have said something. You could have stopped it.”
“The kid was a bad egg, Cece…I’m not saying he deserved it, but it was only a matter of time before he got expelled for something. He didn’t belong at Deerfield.”
“How do you know that?” Cece says, her voice rising, piercing and shrill. “How can you be so certain?” It catches her off guard, her anger and fury, like it’s always been inside her, like it never left since their first breakup.
Predictably, Jonathan remains calm, regarding her emotional outburst with a scientific curiosity, like she’s a new species he’s discovering for the first time. “What’s gotten into you, Cece? One minute you’re doting on me, the next you’re on some righteous crusade against me and my friends. What’s this really about?”
“It’s about the truth!”
“I don’t think so. I think you’re having second thoughts,again,” Jonathan says and chuckles to himself. “I must be the dumbest person alive to give this a second go. Everyone told me—my friends, my family—not to take you back. But I didn’t want to quit. I’m not a quitter, Cece. But I have eyes, Cece. Last night, I was watching you judging this place…my high school buddies. You want it all so badly. Why else would you be with me? Why else would you have come back? But you won’t let yourself enjoy it. You’ve got to poke it and prod it, pick it over until you find something you don’t like about it, and then you do what you’re doing right now.”
Jonathan’s friends…his family…It stings to know she is a topic of discussion, a blight on his otherwise wonderful life. “So then why did we get back together? If everyone keeps telling you how terrible I am.”
“Because I know the real Cece,” Jonathan says and takes her in his arms. “Remember her? The one who finished her CAS exams faster than anyone else at her company, the one who always knew what she wanted. The one who was never afraid of the future, because she’d already considered every possible outcome.”
It’s easy for Cece to be seduced by this version of herself; it’s a version she’s cultivated over the years to ensure she never had to confront what she finds herself face-to-face with now: a future she no longer recognizes, a person she does not like. She closes her eyes, grinds her molars. “A kid’s life was ruined because of you and your friends.”
“I’m sure he turned out fine!” Jonathan says, exasperation seeping into his voice.
“But he didn’t!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Morgan. You met him the day you came to New London. When I showed you the cove. You saw him and you didn’t even recognize him. I didn’t understand why he was staring at you, but now I do. He’s in the class photograph in the yearbook for your junior year, but then he’s gone in twelfth grade.”
“That’s ridiculous. Do you hear yourself? You sound like a crazy person. A crazy person, Cece.”
“He knew you, Jonathan. He knew exactly who you were.”
“So you know the guy. I mean, it’s a hell of a coincidence, but I guess that’s what you get for slumming it in New London this summer. It was years ago, Cece. It’s not like I can go back and undo what Logan did. Why do you care so much? What does any of this have to do with us?”
“He’s my friend!”
