“I know, Mom,” said Lee, not noting that perhaps this was why Lee had been forced to handle all their family’s worries from a young age.
“I just have fun!” proclaimed Charlotte. Then she whirled back around and continued her search for luggage. She said, “Regan will probably get back to Athens before I even land, but I can’t just sit here and do nothing like an old lady!”
“Wait, Mom, you’re going to Greece?” said Lee.
“Poor Flora. She’s been taking a Greek subway to school. A subway! Honestly! Now it’s nighttime over there and the girls are all alone in the dark. Flora said they don’t have any adults to call. This is the problem with leaving your family!”
“Mom…” said Lee, standing up and approaching Charlotte.
“If you want to be helpful, buy me a plane ticket. To Greece. I suppose I’ll need a rental car. I don’t know! And who is going to watch you and all your sleeping pills? Honestly!”
Lee exhaled through her nose. “Let’s just wait until Sunday and see if Regan comes home,” she said, trying to sound reasonable.
“They’re all alone in the dark!” said Charlotte.
“I’ll go,” said Lee. She was testing the words, but even as she spoke them, something familiar stirred in her chest. How many family calamities had she handled over the course of her childhood? How many times had she been the one to step in when everything fell apart?
Charlotte’s relief was immediate and visible. Lee watched hermother’s shoulders ease. And there it was again—that old, sick satisfaction of being needed. Even now, even when she wanted nothing more than to disappear, her family’s crisis called to her like a drug.
A new plan emerged: Lee would go to Greece, fix whatever mess Regan had gotten into, and then fly back in first class. She’d sip champagne, wash down thirty pills…and savor absolute peace above the clouds. But first, she’d do what she’d always done: Save everyone else.
“Really? You’ll go?” The hopefulness in her mother’s voice made Lee realize how scared Charlotte had been at the thought of leaving home. This was another sadness—her mother had once been a jetsetter.
Charlotte had even fallen in love with a man named Paros during their family Mediterranean cruise. What had happened to Charlotte’s romance with Paros? Lee had never even asked.
“Maybe we should both go to Greece,” said Charlotte. “They told me to keep very close watch on your pills….”
“Just the sleeping pills, Mom,” Lee clarified. “I can handle the rest myself.”
“Those are the ones I’m worried about,” Charlotte replied.
“Really, Mom,” said Lee. “I’ll be fine.”
There’s one way to be finally, finally fine,said Depression.
Charlotte narrowed her eyes and looked at her eldest daughter. Lee arranged her face to convey contentment and competence, meeting her mother’s gaze directly, raising the corners of her mouth into a relaxed (but not creepy) smile, tilting her head encouragingly. Her favorite acting coach had been a devotee of Stella Adler’s “imaginative detachment,” which instructed that “the actor must not use his own life to create a role; he must use the life of the character.” Lee tried to become a person who had their shit together, to convey this energy to Charlotte.
Charlotte, hoodwinked—or simply worn-out—nodded, smiling. “OK,” she said. “I do have golf on Friday,” she added.
“How old are Flora and Isabelle again?” said Lee. Now that her plan was set, she actually did feel anticipation, an emotion that had eluded her for a long time. This lightness was common with depressives who’d made an exit strategy, she knew. It felt good.
“Isabelle is eighteen,” said Charlotte. “And Flora just had her sixteenth birthday party. Regan took them to a mall. A mall! In Athens, Greece! They couldn’t even read the Greek alphabet to find a place for manicures. How depressing. Anyhoo, do you want this monogrammed duffel bag, Lee?”
“No thanks, Mom.”
“Suit yourself,” said Charlotte, dropping the duffel and climbing out of the crawl space. “Now, did you also say you’d call Matt?”
“Ugh,” said Lee. She hadn’t spoken to her sister’s ex-husband since the divorce. Lee had seen him at Palmetto Pool with his young, pregnant wife, but she had avoided them. Once, Lee and Matt had been hot-and-heavy high school sweethearts. Then Lee had dumped Matt and moved to California. Matt had married Regan and treated her badly. The thought of speaking to smug old Mansplaining Matt made Lee feel queasy.
“Let me get the plane ticket,” said Lee.
“I’ll finish the crossword,” said Charlotte.
Lee had once had a personal assistant named Val. Lee texted her, and Val agreed to look at airfares even though she was now employed by a Real Housewife of Orange County. (Val, who had a septum piercing, was not loving Orange County.)
“Mom,” said Lee, following Charlotte into the kitchen. “What ever happened to Paros?”
Charlotte dropped her felt-tip pen. Otherwise, she did not react. After a few seconds, she picked up her pen again. “Who?” she said.
