The three women couldn’t stop talking…about their worries, preparations, where they wanted to live and raise the babies who were due in a few weeks. They were scared, vulnerable in a way they hadn’t been since childhood and might never be again. Pregnancy and new motherhood cracked Annette open—had she not met Whitney and Liza during this time, before her defenses grew back like armor, she might have remained stalwartly alone, driving home to Laredo every weekend for support.
The women had moved over to Matt’s El Rancho for queso and chips and ended up sipping nonalcoholic beers and two-stepping, maneuvering their big bellies and laughing at the Broken Spoke dance hall. When she fell into bed at the end of the night, Annette knew that she had found the crew with whom she would travel the (metaphorical) seas of adulthood.
—
THE WEEK BEFORE, ANNETTEhad been sitting on her upper deck when she’d glimpsed something moving by the edge of her yard—an animal. Their upper deck was enormous, with agas fire pit and bird’s-eye views over their lawn, which ran into the Barton Hills greenbelt. Louis had long argued for a big fence, but Annette liked feeling as if she were connected to nature, not walled off. For once, she had gotten her way, if only because Louis was lazy and erecting a fence would take effort.
Annette had stood up and squinted. The animal looked like a small dog. It was brown and gray, with large ears and a pointed snout. Its tail was large and bushy. Annette put her hand over her mouth, realizing it was a coyote.
An electric shock ran through her. A coyote! In her own yard! Annette stood at the edge of her deck, placing her elbows on the metal guardrail. She sipped her coffee, gazing at the wild animal.Look at me,coyote,she thought.
As if hearing her, the animal turned its head up, locked its yellow eyes with Annette’s. She felt thrilled. The coyote turned and ran away, disappearing into the wilderness of the greenbelt.
The next morning, at dawn, Annette put turkey leftovers in the place where she had seen the coyote, then went to the deck with a coffee and binoculars. To her immense delight, the animal returned. She read about coyotes online, identifying hers as an adolescent by its size. It seemed to already be on its own in the world.
Annette became a bit obsessed with the animal, leaving it food every morning, then waiting for its arrival. The coyote was elegant and free. Why had God sent her a coyote? What was its message for her?
For three weeks, the coyote came like clockwork. It began to appear in her dreams as well. One day, when it met her gaze before leaving, its message was as clear to Annette as truth:Look at me, running away from your house! Follow me! Escape!
Oh, shit. Annette did not want this message, although she understood its power. How simple the solution was, in the end. Escape.
—
THE NEXT DAY WASthe first day of summer. Annette placed raw hamburger out for the coyote, then climbed to the deck. The sun rose above the greenbelt, igniting the treetops, and Annette waited. But the coyote did not arrive. She closed her eyes, summoned her spirit animal. But nothing happened. The coyote was gone.
That night, Annette met her friends for wine at Whitney’s house. And her own son went down into the greenbelt, where the coyote had lived. By the same source of water that had kept the coyote alive, Robert found a dead body.
It had to mean something. But what?
—
USUALLY, AT NAP TIME,Annette curled up on a mat beside the kids at Hola, Amigos. Sometimes, she fell asleep, but more often her mind wandered lazily, pleasurably. Robert, Xavier, and Charlie had attended the daycare from their second birthdays until they went to kindergarten. Annette had fallen in love with the place when she toured it, the same day she found out the fertilized donor egg had implanted. She’d called Louis (who’d been in a meeting), called her parents, and then driven to Hola to put her future baby’s name on the list.
When Bobcat went to Barton Hills Elementary School, Annette began working at the daycare. The founder of Hola, Amigos, Hank Lefferts, had bought four South Austin houses in the early 1980s and knocked down three of them, creating an enormous outdoor play space. The penned yard was filledwith sprinklers, mud, paints, toys, and utter mayhem. Hank—handsome, tanned, and tattooed—presided over the magical place. Annette adored her days among children in diapers dancing, singing, smearing themselves with shaving cream and mud. It reminded her of her grandmother’s house, where she and her cousins would run wild, only vaguely supervised.
Annette wanted to kiss Hank Lefferts, but she was not going to kiss Hank Lefferts. She’d once desired her husband, but now, when he reached for her, she had to swallow her repugnance (among other things). Annette was a good Catholic: She’d signed them up for marital counseling, but Louis had never filled out the presession forms, which were—fair enough—exhausting. Instead, Louis had come home with a bag of La Perla lingerie for his wife. He didn’t seem to understand that trussing herself up for his ogling was thelastthing Annette was seeking. She wanted Louis to love her when she wore sweatpants(like Hank seemed to). She wanted him to see her as who she was.
Who was she?
She dreamed of kissing Hank, leaving Louis, moving into Hank’s bungalow behind Hola, Amigos. The sexy nights they’d share, the coffee made on Hank’s stovetop percolator. But Bobcat might choose Louis and the wide-screen 5K TV, and Louis could block her American citizenship and wrest custody. Annette didn’t really understand Robert and his computerlike brain; she wasn’t sure of his allegiances, or if he had any. He was strangely…unemotional. So as hard as it was some days not to kiss Hank Lefferts, Annette knew that she was no lone coyote.
She needed her pack to survive.
-18-
EVIDENCE FILE 147
BIRTHDAY CARD RECOVERED BY APD TECHNICAL FORENSIC DEPARTMENT
Dear Arlo,
Happy Birthday! I miss you SO MUCH. How is Beary? Are you taking care of him? I know you are. I am working very hard in the city and I hope you can come visit someday. Are you looking at the stars every night like I told you to? It might seem like we are far apart but every night I look up and think of you. I love you.
XXOOOOOOOOOO,
LUCY
P.S. I have a new boyfriend! I think you will like him a lot. He is as sweet as you.
