“House?” called Cord obsequiously.
“No, I don’t think so,” said Diana. “Anyway, we disgorge.”
—
LEE AND CORD LEANEDagainst a limestone wall. Cord touched the gritty surface. Blinding light, the smell of smoke, a feral cat watching them from a distance. “Italy!” said Lee, squeezing his arm.
“Italy,” he said, kissing the top of her head, which smelled like mint. He whispered into her hair, “Stop giving me such a hard time.”
“But seriously,” said Lee.
“It’s not your deal,” said Cord.
“Isn’t it killing you?” asked Lee. “Pretending to be someone you’re not?”
Cord looked at her. He sighed. “Yes,” he said, “it is.”
“So tell her,” said Lee.
“You say it like it’s easy,” said Cord.
“I know it’s not,” said Lee. “Believe me.”
“Why do we feel so responsible for her?” said Cord. “She’s supposed to be the adult. But I…”
“I feel like I have to take care of her,” said Lee.
“You, too?”
Lee smiled sadly and nodded. He took her hand. “I love you,” said Cord. “You’re maybe the only one who knows me.”
“Cord—” Lee began.
He cut her off. “After you left, I waited by the phone every night,” he said, realizing he sounded like a petulant child, but unable to stop himself.
Lee’s eyes widened. “That was twenty years ago, Cord.”
“You told me you’d call every night.” Cord remembered sitting next to their big button phone in his pajamas. But it never rang. “You went to California,” he said, “and that was that. You didn’t even come back for Christmas.”
Lee sighed, staring into a middle distance. “I thought if I made a clean break…you guys would have a chance.”
“A chance? What does that mean?” said Cord. “A chance of what?”
“I just wanted…” said Lee. She looked away from him, biting her lip.
“A chance ofwhat?”
“A chance to be okay,” said Lee. The anger in her voice took Cord by surprise.
“I don’t understand,” he said.
“I know,” said Lee. “I know you don’t.” She looked at him imploringly, her eyes clear and watery. “You don’t understand. That’s the point.”
“So explain it to me,” said Cord.
Lee shook her head. “Forget it,” she said. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“I’m not going to forget it,” said Cord, growing incensed himself. “If you have some excuse…some way you want to justify why you ditched us to become a fucking movie star, then please, tell me what it is.”
