Ruth’s foggy eyes close with a smile. “There’s nothing to forgive, Betty. You’re more than welcome.”
Mum’s lip trembles, and I glance between the pair with uncertainty. What does she mean? What did my mum do? Mum tugs Ruth into a hug and squeezes her like a lost child being returned home.
“Thank you. Thank you a thousand times over,” she says into Ruth’s shoulder.
“Still using the same perfume, huh? You haven’t changed,” Ruth says. The two women let go and Ruth pats Mum’s cheek familiarly. “Come on in.”
While a pot of fragrant tea leaves waits to be brewed, Mum goes into her bag and brings out an incredibly suspicious bouquet. Periwinkles, to represent childhood memories, sweet peas to thank a host for hospitality…and hyacinths. To ask for forgiveness. She seems determined to ignore my questioning frown, so I go over to Ruth’sworkshop shelves to find a suitable vase instead. The vials of herbs are back in their usual organized state after Will and I tidied up last night (it took longer than it should have for, uh, reasons), and out of the corner of my eye, my mother takes in every inch of the cottage like it’s a miracle.Why?It tickles my thoughts like a stray strand of cat hair.
“Mum,” I say, harsh and final. I slam my chosen vase onto the dining table a little harder than I should.
“Yes, dear?”
“How are you here?”
She blinks at me. “What do you mean?”
“How did you get through the wards by yourself?”
“Oh.”
Mum and Ruth exchange a glance.
“You’ve been here before,” I say, and because I can say it, I don’t need it confirmed. It’s the truth.
Mum dallies, giving me one of her small laughs that usually come before I get brushed off for being “silly.” Luckily for her, Will appears at the top of the stairs and halts like he knows he’s come at a bad time. Even so, our eyes meet and it tosses my insides like a wave at sea. Is it me, or has he put more effort into his appearance today? I could swear that his hair looks perfectly tousled.Interesting.
“Morning, Will. Could you take Lilibeth’s bag into the other spare room? She’ll be staying awhile,” Ruth says, getting out some teacups.
“Uhh…” He surveys the room and comes to the decision it’s best to do as he’s told. “Okay.”
“Mum, how many times have you been here? When?” I ask. She’s so intent on watching Will duck out of sight, a glossy sheen over her eyes, that I doubt she hears me.
“Ruth…he’s all grown up…” she breathes, a hand on her heart. She probably hasn’t seen Will this close up since before the transition he told me about yesterday.
The boiling kettle bubbles as my unanswered accusation hangs in the air.
“Hello? Answers please.”
Steam shoots out of the kettle’s spout. Ruth gently guides Mum to the dining table, and says, “Let’s sit and talk, shall we?”
I glare at the fresh bouquet with folded arms. You know, the one ofhyacinths.Seeking forgiveness. Forwhatexactly? Will returns and takes a seat to my left as Mum looks at Ruth with rosy shame.
“I should have come after Marc passed away,” Mum says. “I should have sent a letter, flowers, something…I should have been there for you, after all you did for me….”
Ruth places her teacup down seriously, and says, “I do not regret trying to heal her, Betty.”
I sit up straighter, a hook in my throat.
“Heal who?” I ask. “When? What happened?”
“Well, I suppose…” Mum says, and wipes under her eyes with a single shaky finger. She takes a deep breath. “I was always a little jealous of my friends. Ruth and Morgana had incredible magical talent, and Fern was destined to be with King Garland. When Ruth and Fern got married and both had kids on the way, my envy got the better of me.”
My heart leaps to my ears. Is she finally going to tell me? After all these years? Her guilt, her secrets, her sadness? I’ve never known anything besidesDon’t talk about Morgana. All you need to know is she cursed you, and no, I won’t answer more of your questions.I freeze in my chair like there are restraints around my wrists.
“One night,” Mum continues, “after I vented to Morgana about how I felt, she saw an opportunity to try something no sorcerer had ever succeeded at before. She told me she was working on a spell to make someone fall in love. If all went well, she would be hailed as the greatest sorcerer to ever live, and I would have the family I craved. Needless to say, we rushed into it without thinking. I pointed out the first man I found attractive and within the week, she’d cast her spell. It was…well, it was a whirlwind. I could hardly believe it hadworked, despite Morgana’s ego being unbearable. Yet…After a few weeks passed, I started to wonder if I’d made the right decision. I’d tricked this man into my life without a second thought to his own—what didhewant before Morgana cast her spell? Did he have his own aspirations? Would he have chosen me without magic? Then, Fliss, my baby, my darling, then I found out I was having you.”
A tear splashes down her pale cheek. Her history washes me to shore like a hollowed-out shell. Jealousy and magic.Lies.That’s what made me.
