He hesitated a moment longer. His throat bobbed. But he set my wig carefully on the end table and angled his body toward me, elbows on his knees. My whole body lit up at his undivided attention. “Well,” he began, “I have six sisters.”
“Six!” My brows shot up. “Is that… Do people usually…?”
Jasim’s lips curled at the corners. “You mean, is it typical among lowly commoners to procreate like rabbits?”
“Yes.”
He chuckled. “Can be. Just so happens that my parents loved each other. Too much and too often.”
What a peculiar concept. I never knew my mother, but by all accounts, her marriage to the king was a political one. It was a miracle they had even one child. A literal, Gods-Chosen miracle.
“I’m the only boy, born second to last,” Jasim continued. “Baba used to joke that the gods had finally taken pity on him when I was born, giving him another man in the house.” His gaze took on a faraway look, a soft smile hovering over his lips. “It drove my mother and sisters mad when he’d make comments like that. We all helped out in his tannery, so it wasn’t as if he was lacking anything without a boy. Which my oldest sister, Andra, pointed out all the time. Still does, honestly. But I think he just liked watching Mama’s face turn red.” He huffed a small laugh, and I grinned. Then his smile dimmed. “Of course, I was only eight when he died, so… Didn’t really make it to the man part with him.” He shrugged, like it didn’t bother him, though it obviously did.
“I’m sorry.” The words came out without my approval. But I found I meant them.
He looked down at his hands. Flexed and clenched them compulsively.
“How’d he die?” I asked softly.
“He was bringing home our water rations from Ketopolis. Someone followed him. Stabbed him and stole the water. We found him a few days later, Andra and I.”
My heart was so heavy it struggled to remain in my chest instead of sinking to my feet. I reached out of the cocoon of my blankets and took Jasim’s hand. His was coarse and rough from years of training, while any calluses I might have earned had been smoothed away with tallow. Gods forbid a royal might appear to have done some work.
Jasim stared at our hands, a line between his brows. “I joined the Khada Guard shortly after that. I send what I can back home to Mama and the girls. Most of them are married off now, but every little bit helps.”
I nodded, even though I could not imagine the life he described. And I wanted to. The buzzing at the back of my neck was getting a little bit stronger, but I just clutched Jasim’s hand tighter. “The king used to beat me,” I blurted.
Jasim’s deep brown eyes lifted to mine. His thumb smoothed gently over my knuckles as he softly said, “I know.”
Of course he did. He’d helped me hobble back to my room more than once.
“It… it upset me, I think.” I frowned as I tried to articulate a feeling I had not bothered to dwell on since I was six. “He used to be so kind. One time, he took me to the Ketopolis Market just because I’d mentioned I wanted baklawa and the palace chef didn’t know how to make it. Then one day, he just… hated me.”
Clink, clink, clink.
I winced at the whisper of a noise at the back of my head. “I can’t remember if I did something to him. I might have. But it bothers me that I don’t know if he changed first or if I did.” I rubbed my chest where I’d felt that weird pain at the news of his death.
Jasim rose from his seat. He stretched out in the bed beside me, the warmth of his body tickling my skin, and gazed across the pillowsat me with soft eyes. Thatlook. But I didn’t revile it this time. When he pulled me in and wrapped his arms around me, I melted into his embrace, burrowed into his neck. “You’re a good person, Amunet,” he murmured against the top of my shaved head. “You didn’t deserve that.”
I laughed hoarsely. “I’m not a good person, Jasim.”
“You’re a Gods-Chosen,” he replied. “Of course you are.” He kissed my temple.
I was going to miss him.
The realization hit me like a punch to the gut. When we made it to the Temple of Shaya, when this was all over, when I… did what I had to do at the temple, I was going to miss having this devout man at my side. His misplaced adoration. His ready excuses.
I would miss Jasim.
Clink, clink, clink.
Fire spread up from my nape to the crown of my head.
Ugh. Break was over. It was nice while it lasted. I reached my free hand up to scratch.
Jasim gently pulled it away and gave it a squeeze. “Come on. Let’s go talk to Shaya.”
Despite the return of extreme discomfort to my body, I smiled and let Jasim pull me out of bed.
