Baba, please, I prayed.Please talk to me.
The wind that blew through the windows was heavy and humid. Not Shaya’s.
My neck prickled again. I clenched my hands hard, feeling the hard wax dig into my palms as I redoubled my focus.Baba, I’m sorry. I’ve angered you. Please forgive me. End this punishment. Get rid of this itch and this racket. I can’t think. I can barely breathe without wanting to flay myself.
No response.
Jasim ventured, “My queen?”
“Shut up!” My voice came out high-pitched. Even I could hear the hysteria in it. My chest constricted, stomach curdling.Baba, please.I miss you. I need you.
I barely breathed as I waited. And waited. There was no supernatural breeze. No sign at all that my father had heard me.
My eyes opened. The candle’s flame burned, hardly even flickering in the desert wind.
Taunting me.
“My queen.” Jasim crouched on the other side of the candle, brows drawn closely together, questions chasing each other in his eyes.
Both my hands went up to my neck. “He’s not answering.” The itch persisted. In fact, it seemed to intensify with every pass of my nails. “Why isn’t he answering?”
“Stop that.” Jasim pulled my hands away from my skin, held my wrists in one hand while his other angled my head so he could see the back of my neck. “Gods,” he breathed. He held up my hands. There was blood under my nails. “What have you done?”
It had been too long. My body was rebelling at Shaya’s absence. Everything that I was, my eventual power, my goals, my very existence, was because of Shaya. The parent that never left me. The one that wanted me so badly he’d struck a deal with King Zaid.
Did… did he no longer want me?
My heart threatened to crack at the mere thought.
“My queen. My queen.Amunet.” I looked up at Jasim. He still held my wrists, dark eyes boring into me.
“He’s punishing me.”
Jasim shook his head. “What? Who?”
“Shaya.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“Amunet.” Jasim pulled my fingers away from my neck again. I hadn’t even realized I’d jerked them out of his grip. He held myhands firmly to the wooden slats of the floor, trapping them between us. Even though his grip was unforgiving, his voice was gentle. “Why didn’t you tell me you couldn’t reach Shaya?”
Because it can’t be true.
Because he chose me. Hechoseme. He wouldn’t just leave me.
“Amunet,” Jasim whispered, and cupped my face. “You’re shaking.”
“I have to get to the temple. Please understand, I have to do this. Ihaveto—”
“Hey.” He tilted my head back so I was forced to meet his eyes. Familiar and beautiful brown. “I’m going to get you to the temple. I promise.”
My fingers curled into his tunic, clinging to him like he was a lifeline.
He tugged me into him and wrapped his arms around me. Though tremors still racked my frame and fear churned in my gut, I melted into his embrace. It wasn’t fair of me, but he was warm and safe. I buried my face in his neck, his beard scratching comfortingly against my shaved head, and breathed in the fresh woody smell of river reeds. For just the briefest moment, the claws in my head quieted.
Jasim held me for a few moments before he murmured, “You’re tired. Get some sleep. I’ll keep watch.”
