He took a breath. His hand curled around hers, warm and strong. “In this business, there are always rivals. Some are fellow drug lords, some are law enforcement.”
His face hardened. “Some are far more bloodthirsty thanothers. One of these,” he added without saying to which faction the person belonged, “decided that the best way to remove me as a competitor was to take me out. He sent an assassin in the early-morning hours. My little boy had been crying, and I had gone to his room to comfort him. I did not know that an assassin waited outside the window.” He stopped and his eyes narrowed in memory. “I can still hear the shatter of the window in my nightmares, the scream of my little boy when the bullet hit him...”
Her expression mirrored his horror.
“My son was three...” He had to stop. “He died in my arms.”
He looked up at her and saw an expression on her face, so raw with sudden tears and compassion, that it hit him right in the heart. He had not known comfort for so many years that he had forgotten the feel of it, but he wanted it now, needed it desperately. He stood up, still holding her hand. He shot something at the barman, who instantly opened a back room. Eduardo pulled Josie into it and closed the door behind them.
He pulled her a little roughly into his arms. She held him while the pain sent him rigid with memory. She rocked him in her arms, thinking that she’d never had comfort at the most traumatic times of her own life, not even at her mother’s death. Her father hadn’t cared enough to come home except for the funeral, and he’d gone the moment it was over. There had been no one to offer her what she was giving this poor man. He acted as if he had never known comfort or even accepted it from anyone. It was one of those rare moments when she could feel every emotion flowing through his strong body. He might act outside the law, but he was a human being who had obviously loved his family. And to lose a child, in such a way...!
Finally, he drew a long breath and raised his head. He searched her eyes. “I have never had comfort,” he said after a minute. “Thank you.”
“I’ve never had comfort, either,” she said softly. “I lost someone a year ago, and I felt such guilt... I made a decision that should have kept him alive. It didn’t. He left a wife and two little girls.” Her voice roughened. “His wife blamed me. I blamed myself.”
He brushed the hair back from her face. “So we both have even more things in common, yes?” He sighed. “I took revenge for my son, in the same way that it was taken on me. But I took it in the wrong place. I blamed an innocent man. So now I pay for that mistake as well as for my choice of professions, which cost me my family.”
“Your wife...?” she asked gently.
“It drove her mad, losing her child like that. She saw him before I could stop her. It was a shotgun...” He didn’t finish. He didn’t have to. Josie knew about such wounds. And a child...
“Barbarians,” she muttered.
“Yes.” He didn’t add that he also felt like one, for what he’d done in mistaken revenge for his own child. “My wife took her own life.”
She ground her teeth together as she looked up at him. “So much tragedy,” she said softly. “How did you live through it?”
He took a deep breath and smiled faintly. “I built a church.”
“Excuse me?”
“I built a church,” he repeated. “I live in a rural part of Mexico, very stark, very beautiful. I have neighbors who have had to drive many miles to hear a sermon. So I built a church. It seemed a good thing to do. It helped me to heal. Now it helps my community to bear its burdens.”
She was amazed. She smiled. “What a wonderful thing to do,” she said softly.
“Do you think so? My associates were certain that I’d lost my mind,” he chuckled.
“It seems to me,” she said, “that sometimes the best people are mad.”
He agreed. “This person you lost,” he asked, “was he a lover?”
“No,” she said. “It was a business thing, but I was responsible for him and he died because of a decision I made.” The pain that decision caused her was written on her face.
“In this business,” he said, “it is very dangerous to have a conscience.”
“It does seem that way,” she said.
He looked at her for a long moment, his eyes quiet and reflective. “I have this—” he searched for the word “—instinct about people. I know things that I cannot explain. But it is the first time I’ve had it with a woman.”
“It’s that way with me, too,” she said. “I’ve had it all my life. I always knew when something bad was going to happen.”
“And in your life many bad things have happened, yes?” he asked.
She nodded.
His eyes narrowed. “You should not trust Raines,” he said suddenly. “I use him because I need him. He will do anything for money. He would sell his soul for it.” He didn’t add that Raines had one of the biggest double crosses in history planned. It would be the man’s downfall, but that was not his concern. It was as well that Raines had the intellect of a rock. He had no idea that his boss knew everything he was up to.
She smiled sadly. “I don’t trust anybody,” she replied.
