24THORN
It’s a clear, sunny, 75-degree day: perfect rappelling weather.
It would be even better if Matteo weren’t hovering like my own personal storm cloud—especially since it’s up to us to inspect all the equipment and make sure the anchors at the top of the cliff are properly secured before our people get anywhere close to it.
All of which requires focus.
“Just say it, man,” he grunts out as I check all the knots, hitches, and carabiners.
“Say what?”
“Sayanything,” he replies. “The silent treatment is killing me.”
“I’m not being silent on purpose,” I say, which is mostly true. “I’m making sure everything’s ready to go.”
I move on to the ropes, check for any sign of fraying. They all look good.
“If you’re mad about the other night,” Matteo goes on, “just say so.”
The other night, when he not-so-subtly told me toget it together.
My jaw twitches. “Okay,” I reply. “What if I am?”
I feel his eyes on me.
“Be mad if you want,” he says tauntingly. “But if you’re mad at anyone, it should be yourself, not me—you know I made a good point. You’ve been distracted out here. Don’t give me the silent treatment just because I called you out on it.”
I swallow down everything I want to say: how I’m only human, how I’m doing my best to keep everyone safe, how it’s unfair to expect me to not have feelings of my own, or know how to navigate them perfectly—how my anger with him runs so much deeper than just the accusations he threw at me two nights ago.
The bitterness clings to my mouth.
“If you really cared about me being distracted,” I grit out, “you wouldn’t be trying to start a fight right now. Everyone down there at camp is depending onusto make sure they don’t die today.”
This shuts him up, at least temporarily.
We work together in silence, triple-checking every last piece of equipment until we’re both satisfied. We’ve almost made our way back down to the bottom—there’s a series of wide rock ledges about fifty feet away from the waterfall that serve as a natural staircase to the top of the cliff—when he ruins it.
“You have more tunnel vision than you think,” he says almost under his breath. “Maybe if you’d paid better attention you wouldn’t have been so blindsided by what happened with Blair.”
This stops me dead in my tracks.
“That’syour take?” I’m genuinely perplexed. “Please enlighten me—what, exactly, would have changed if I’d been paying more attention? Are you saying youwouldn’thave stolen my girlfriend and run off with her to a whole other continent if I’d just…noticed it was happening before it got to that point? That makes zero sense, Matty. Zero.”
“I’m saying that maybe you would have noticed our friendship had started deteriorating alongtime before that. You were never around tohang out. You treat your phone like an afterthought.” The look in his eyes levels me, unsettles me. “We weren’t as close then as you make it sound.”
This:thisis a blindside.
I didn’t think he could hurt me in a new way, not after all we’ve been through. I absolutely considered him my best friend. And the fact that his words still have the power to cut this deeply…his friendship matters more to me, even now, than I want to admit.
Until Peru, he always acted like the feeling was mutual. There was never even a hint of tension from him, let alone anything on the level of frustration he’s projecting now.
“What are you talking about?” I ask. “You were my best friend sincehigh school—since the day you moved in. Even when Blair came along, you were still my closest friend.”
“We hardly ever hung out, Thorn. We rarelytalked. You were always out here, or you were with Blair. And when we did talk, you were always so guarded, like you were afraid to let anyone in.”
I’m genuinely at a loss for words; it’s not at all how I remember it. He’s playing the victim, making it sound likeIam the one who drove the wedge between us—and if that were true, I’d apologize in a heartbeat. But it’s just not how it happened. The last time we hung out, Matteo was as chill as ever, scarfing pepperoni-pineapple pizza and crashing at my apartment after a marathon night ofMario Kart. We talked and laughed until three in the morning.
Two days later, he and Blair took off for Peru.
