“Everybody ready?” Matteo calls out.
Ready as I can be, I think. My muscles are less sore today, but I’ve got a blister forming on my left heel, cushioned with more Band-Aids than are strictly necessary. I tighten the straps of my pack, adjust my sunglasses, pull the brim of my black baseball cap just a bit lower—
And then we’re off.
11THORN
Pull yourself together, man, I chide myself for the fifth time in three hours.
It’s a good thing Trey and Joshua hit it off, because I am so not in the mood for an icebreaker. What’s the point of forcing conversation with a stranger who’s just going to leave your life as quickly as they came into it? I don’t make a habit out of asking invasive questions even with people Idoknow well—same with answering them.
And Matteo knows it.
This trek has been an anomaly for me so far. I don’t know if I’m just irritable because he’s here again after being off the grid for so long, or if I feel off because I’m usually more on the same page with my coleader.
I certainly don’t usually make a habit out of flirting with the trekkers—not to mention gettingcaughtflirting with the trekkers—but there’s just something about Sadie.
She’s so out of sorts here, and already bug-bitten to hell…it’s kind of adorable the way she’s trying to pretend everything is fine. I didn’t mean to be so casual with her on yesterday’s hike, or last nightover s’mores—her energy is magnetic, though. She’seasyto talk to, no icebreaker-level forcing required.
Which is why I’m secretly glad Matteo told everyone to pair off, despite the fact that I hate it on principle: it gives me a reason to keep my distance in every sense of the word. A chance to cool off, to remember that this is myjoband I am aprofessional.
A professional who might as well have been wearing a neon sign this morning advertising that my weakness is, apparently, brunettes in silk pajamas.
Fortunately, Sadie is now fully clothed in an outfit that at least resembles hike-appropriate clothing, and she’s far ahead of me, almost everyone else in between us.
Joshua and Trey are a few steps in front of me, chatting like they’ve known each other for years. I’ve heard about the coffee bros’ matching tattoos, Joshua’s wedding plans with Zoe, and they’ve now moved on to an unexpected connection between them: diving with sharks.
“Zoe says I’m not allowed to go anymore once we have kids,” Joshua says morosely. “Which I get, in theory, but—you know how it is—it’s not like the sharkswantto eat anyone. I stay out of their way, they stay out of mine.”
Trey nods along. “Totally. Doesn’t she know they hate the taste of neoprene?”
“That’s whatI’msaying!”
“What’s the best place you’ve ever gone on a dive?” Trey asks.
Joshua considers it. “Gotta be between Oahu and Belize. You?”
“Galápagos, bro. Incredible.”
I tune out again because—while I do love a good extreme sport that will get your adrenaline pumping—we’ve just arrived at our rest stop.
Will Matteo remember to give everyone a break? It’s a miracle we’ve made it this far without him leading us in circles; every time I’ve caughta glimpse of him over the last three hours, he’s been talking and laughing with Brittany like he’s just one of the other trekkers and not the guy in charge.
I decide to give it a few more minutes. Stepping on his toes would only undermine his authority and piss him off—but at the same time, our pace has slowed considerably.
I’m just about to speak up when Matteo comes to an abrupt halt, looking around like he’s finally realized where we are.
“Good news, everyone!” he calls out. “Time for a break. Take thirty and make sure you rehydrate!”
Everyone splits off into their familiar groups—everyone, that is, except for Joshua and Zoe. Joshua joins Trey and the other coffee bros, while Zoe gloms on to Sadie like a barnacle.
A wave of feeling—disappointment? Jealousy?—crashes into me.
I try to resist it. I don’tneedto talk to Sadie, should feel relieved that Zoe’s standing in the way of another one-on-one conversation that would only spin me further out of sorts. This is a chance to get my head on straight, talk to some of the others.
A chance to try to convince myself that Sadie’s just like the rest of them.
I head over to check in on Brittany, Emma, and Parker. They’re all bright-eyed and laughing but fall silent as soon as they notice I’ve joined them.
