I opened the window. He did not smile—not with his mouth, not anywhere, but I saw something flash across his face. A softness that overrode everything else I knew.
“You can come in if you want,” I said. “My parents are in Westbury.”
Tyler nodded, crawling through the frame as I sat at the foot of my bed. He spent a few minutes just looking around, tracing things. MyPlaybills. My sketches. Pictures from cast parties.
“I like your art,” he said.
“Thanks,” I said.
“Have you, uh, have you been writing?”
“A little. I don’t know. Not like we used to.”
He blew out a breath and then turned to me. “I know you probably hate me. And that’s okay. I deserve that. I really do.”
“I could never hate you, Tyler.”
He gulped, then twisted his watch around his wrist. “I, uh... I have this sponsor,” he said. “He’s been helping me a lot since I got clean. He’s pretty adamant that I should leave you alone forever. Which is what I’ve been trying to do, really, since I went to detox and everything. It’s just that tomorrow is going to be a disaster for me. It’s humiliating, going back there, repeating my senior year, applying to colleges, everyone knowing what happened with Mikey, and everyone realizing it was all my fault, and...”
I stared at him. He frowned.
“Fuck,” he said. “I’m so sorry. I’m so selfish. I’m working on it, I swear.”
I covered my mouth and tried not to cry. He walked over to me very slowly and put his hands on mine. A few tears fell downmy face. He got on his knees and wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and began to weep.
“Are you okay?” he whispered.
“I don’t think so, no.”
“Do you want to get some dinner? Have you eaten anything? The diner’s open. Can I take you for a milkshake? Maybe a grilled cheese?”
I let out a squeak. I was crumbling now. The last two years, leaving me—and in fits, in gushes.
“Katie, I’m here, okay? You’re okay. It’s okay. I’m right here.”
I opened my eyes. Tyler was still on his knees, holding me tight. His eyes were wet, and his face was folded in a frown.
“I am so sorry,” he said, “that I left you all alone.”
73
Tyler
Present Day
The Hamptons
That night, after my meeting, I found Katie sitting on the front porch, waiting for me. She stood as I approached and, at once, nearly tripped over her own two feet. I caught her with one arm, and she smiled up at me.
“You good, Daisy?”
“I’m great! I’m drunk! Meredith and I got shit-faced. She gave an Oscar de la Renta to me.”
“I... do not know what that means.”
She booped my nose. “Of course you don’t, you long-suffering, beautiful, clueless man who has probably banged half the girls who walked their runway.”
I glared at her. She giggled, hanging off me.
