“It’s not up to the group what I do. And I’m swimming.” I hesitate as I consider the waning daylight. “First thing tomorrow morning.”
Kei sighs. “Let’s go talk to the group.”
The scene at the beach shakes me. All of the industrious energy is gone, and the campers seem like they’re moving in slow motion. Thereis a pile of logs, a few of them bound together with rope, which I take to be the abandoned attempt at a raft.
Sue-Ellen is tending the fire looking annoyingly hot, even in Girl Scout mode. You’d think once the cameras went off and she stopped making such an effort then she’d lose her shine, but nope—turns out she’s just naturally gorgeous. Rude.
Harmony and Valeria are sitting on the rocks facing the lake. Harmony turns to look at me, but she quickly looks away, not meeting my eye. A wave of regret overtakes me. I’ve been so selfish. I want to turn around, head straight back to the Bunkhouse, but I make myself move forward. If there’s ever a time to redeem myself, it’s now.
As we approach the group, Kei reaches for my hand. I look at him. He smiles and gives me a nod. He clears his throat. “I have some bad news,” he says to the group, with a slight tremor in his voice. “I don’t know how else to say it, so I’m just going to say it. We’re almost out of food. The rice we were depending on is spoiled. We can eat for another day or two, but then all of our food is gone.”
The reactions to this news are eerily muted. People look surprised, sad, scared, but it’s like they can’t muster any more emotion than some spiritless frowns and slack jaws.
Kei scuffs his foot into the rocks. “And Damian and Giovanni have been gone too long. While I’m still optimistic that they’re okay, there’s no doubt now that they need help. All this to say, we don’t have time to figure out a plan anymore. We have to get off this island.”
No one says anything. Everyone is just looking at Kei, waiting for him to tell them what to do. But he looks as dejected as the rest of them, so I step in.
“I’m going to swim to the other side,” I announce, hoping no one hears the quiver in my voice. “I’m going to leave first thing tomorrow morning.”
“Cleo, no,” Harmony moans, her face streaked with tears. “No, babe, you can’t. I can’t lose you, too.” Her shoulders start to shake, and shecovers her face with her hands. Tears sting my eyes, too, but I have to keep a brave face. I go to her, put my arm around her.
“Obviously, I don’t love this plan,” Kei says. “And I wish I could go with her, but as some of you know, I’m type one diabetic, and I’m not sure a long swim would be good for me. I believe in Cleo, but I don’t think she should go alone.” He pauses, waiting for someone to speak up. No one does. “Who will do the swim with Cleo?”
Sid shakes his head sadly. “Shit, Cleo, sorry. I can’t swim the length of myself.” A few others murmur similar sentiments. No one will make eye contact with me. I feel my courage waver.
“She can’t go alone,” reiterates Kei. “Come on, who’s going with her?”
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Sue-Ellen says, rolling her eyes. “I’ll do it. I’ll swim with you, okay?”
Great, just fucking great. I’d literally chooseanyonebut her.
“Thank you, Sue-Ellen,” she says, like a parent reminding their toddler to use their manners.
“Thank you, Sue-Ellen,” Kei says, with more fervent gratitude than I can manage to muster.
“Yeah, thanks,” I mumble. Kei puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him. I let his closeness comfort me as I process what I’ve just volunteered to do.
Why am I doing this? The question roars in my head, but the answer immediately comes. I’m doing it because I love Kei. Not because the cameras are watching. Not because we could win a bunch of money together. Not for anything other than love.
And yes, I’m pathetic, a total simp, but at this point it is what it is. Might as well do something productive with all this stupid love I’ve got.
ButcanI do this? It’s a long swim, so much longer than I’ve ever done. And while I’ve gotten stronger, is it enough? Can I really be the one to save us?
Sue-Ellen stands and walks toward the beach path. She turns back to look at me, already annoyed before I’ve even given her a reason.
“Well, come on then,” she says, not bothering to hide her impatience. “We’ve gotta make a plan.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Kei follows us to the Mess Hall to prepare the rice for dinner while Sue-Ellen and I work out the logistics of the swim.
“How long do you think it’s going to take?” I’m feeling less and less confident with my decision with every passing minute.
“A long time,” Sue-Ellen says unhelpfully. “How long do you think the canoe trip over was?”
“Probably an hour or so, a little more,” calls Kei from the kitchen.
“And that’s with two people paddling,” Sue-Ellen says.
