I shiver. The sense of foreboding that I felt in the lake is still with me. Maybe it’s just my overactive imagination, or nerves about Kei and Alessandra, or maybe it’s just the wine hangover, but something feels off. I can’t shake the feeling in the shower, or even when Harmony lends me her nicest sundress—a lemon-yellow number with braided straps—for the Couple-Up Ceremony. When the bell rings, beckoning us to the flagpole for the moment of truth, I feel like I’m about to witness my own execution.
Chapter Twenty-Two
We are gathered at the flagpole, the female campers lined up to one side with our POPPs hovering close. On the sidelines, Gabby and Tyler fawn over Mr. McFarland, while Natasha examines her makeup in her phone camera. I swallow back my stomach acid.
“Let’s get in position,” Tyler calls. The cameramen weave around us, situating themselves for the best shots of our reactions. Natasha hands her phone to Gabby and plasters on her biggest, shiniest smile. And we’re rolling.
Natasha calls on Valeria and her POPP to step forward. Valeria’s POPP is a handsome physiotherapist from Tampa, who she declined to date, and it’s a sweet moment when Giovanni jogs up the beach path alone and she squeals with happiness. Trina and Sid choose one another, and they both seem truly delighted about it. Harmony and Damian stay together, of course, and Damian declares that Harmony is his “PIPP”—his perfect-in-person person—and we all groan and cheer.
But now it’s just me and Sue-Ellen left. A camera lens hovers so close to my face I’m sure it can see the tiny beads of sweat on my forehead. My whole body buzzes in anticipation.
Natasha calls on Sue-Ellen, who gives some line about being torn between two such amazing men. “It’s an embarrassment of riches,” she gushes. Giovanni scrunches up his face.
Of course she chooses Isa, and she makes sure to shoot me a smirk when he comes jogging up the beach path alone. I want to be annoyed, I really do, but the way Isa is looking at her, with far more genuine affection than he ever gave me, like he can’t believe his luck, I think what I actually feel is happiness? For them? Can’t be.
“Cleo, it’s your turn to choose,” says Natasha, beckoning me forward “Tell me, how was your experience with your POPP, Jesse?”
Jesse hasn’t made eye contact with me since we’ve gathered here at the flagpole. “He’s a great guy, and our date was good. I was really nervous, though, so I may have drunk a little too much wine—sorry about that, Jesse.” He smiles tightly but still refuses to look at me.
“Did you feel a connection?”
“It’s hard, with so little time, to know if there’s anything there or not,” I say, diplomatically. “But I know that I have a strong connection with Kei.” I can feel my heart pounding in my throat. These could be my final moments on this show, the last time I can fool myself into believing things will be any different for me.
“Speaking of Kei, are you worried he might choose Alessandra?”
Worried, anxious, panicked—choose your emotion. But I just nod yes.
“Because they were together for, how long was it?”
“Two years,” I whisper.
“Right, wow, two years.”
I’m not sure how I’m supposed to respond, so I just nod again.
“So, Cleo, who do you choose for your bunkmate going forward?”
I take a deep breath. I could choose Jesse and buy myself some more time on the show, maybe make a new plan. Or I could stick to the only semblance of a plan that I have. I can follow my brain, or my heart—neither has proven very useful, so it’s a draw.
“The guy I want to bunk with is…Kei.”
“Another camper choosing her original bunkmate, very interesting!” Natasha says to the camera. “Now, let’s see what choice Kei has made.”
We turn to face the beach path. I imagine Kei appearing alone and looking excited. Alone and looking regretful. With Alessandra andlooking all loved up. With Alessandra but looking at me. I imagine myself, relieved to see him coming alone. Terrified to give him any more of my heart. Relieved that I don’t have to. Devastated to have to leave him.
I close my eyes. I focus on the warmth of the sun on my face, the staccato of birds singing in the trees. And then I hear Harmony gasp.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Kei is coming up the beach path. His eyes are on me, his expression inscrutable. I peer around him, expecting to see Alessandra trailing behind. But she’s not there. He’s alone, and he’s coming right for me.
He’s in front of me. He wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me up, squeezing me into him. A sound escapes my mouth, a tearless sob, of relief, of surprise, of joy. He lowers me gently down, and then he takes my face in both of his hands and kisses me, long and deep. It’s not like our first kiss—there is nothing sweet or gentle about it. This kiss is fuelled by longing, desire, and relief.
“It was always going to be you,” he whispers, right into my microphone. And then he’s kissing me again. The other campers cheer as Natasha announces us as an official couple, and Kei just keeps kissing me.
A lightness floods through me. Maybe Cori was right after all—I just had to trust. Maybe things really are about to change for me.
Or maybe—and this is the more likely scenario—Kei knows that the audience will eat this shit up, and I shouldn’t feel anything at all about it. All I have to do isplay along.
