“Minny and Jabel—fuck.GinnnnnyandMmmmaaaabeland Pip and Samantha and Olivia are family. They’re my family. They can be your family. One of us should keep them.”
“We can share.”
“Nope. Gotta move.”
“I do?”
“I do.”
My heart cramps and my stomach rolls over and I suddenly feel half-sober. “What? Why?”
“Not safe.”
“For who?”
“Ladenver. Lavender. She’ll get hurt. Then my in-laws will take her from me.”
No.
No, no, no. “They can’t do that.”
“Tried already. Before someone stole—hic!—your beav.”
“No one stole my beav, dude. Iflashedit.”
“Nuh-uh. They stole it.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about, and I don’t know if he does either.
Drunk ramblings are fun.
Hopefully him saying they have to leave is drunk ramblings too.
“I love Lavender here.” No. That’s not what I meant to say. “She loves me here. No. Wait.She loves it here. That. That’s it.”
“I’m a bad dad.”
“You’re thebestdad.”
“Nuh-uh. Not like my dad.”
“You’re patient?—”
“Nope.”
“And kind?—”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Yes you are.”
“I’m a faker. A big fakey faking fakity faker.”
“No.”
“Yep. Not kind. No patience. Want to time all the scream. Scream all the time.” He grins at me, then makes jazz hands. “Surprise!I suck. Bad dad. Bad husband. Bad friend. All bad.”
I make as mean of a face as I can. “You are the bestity bestest bester-man.”
