Page 176 of You've Got Hate Mail


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And if I were to get up tomorrow morning, declare I was sitting on my couch in my underwear, watching baseball and eating cereal all day long—she’d be the first person to bring me more milk.

I can’t move. I can’t leave here.

I haven’t said it out loud yet, or even to myself, but I need to stay an step up for my family while we all try to save our home.

And I want—Iwantto stay for Cricket.

For—for whatever this is.

“You coming up for breakfast again?” I ask.

“After I check on The Cluckinator.”

That chicken.

It’s Cricket’s new best friend, which is something my daughter takes exception to.

She’d prefer to be Cricket’s best friend.

And the bird’s too.

Have a feeling we’ll be getting a real chicken coop and friends for The Cluckinator soon.

And I don’t hate it.

Raising chickens with my—my special friend—seems nice.

I kiss Cricket hard and fast, and then I dash up the stairs before Lav comes wandering down.

My daughter is also a bouncing bundle of energy. Excitement’s contagious.

And everyone’s excited.

Garden’s ready. Cricket and I got the trellis up yesterday, and she wove the vines from the ground into it.

It’s anemic, but still pretty.

Little water, little sunshine, and it’ll be gorgeous for the wedding.

The mother-in-law house is ready. I double-triple-checked everything inside it myself yesterday too.

Pip has orders to wear clothes.

Samantha and Olivia have planned feasts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner through when the couple departs on Monday.

Dori’s pitched in everywhere she’s been asked, and Ginny and Mabel have been burning the candle at both ends to keep up with their regular jobs in addition to getting the main house as clean and polished as they can get it without gutting the place.

All this to show the couple a place they’ve already been.

But this time as their wedding venue.

“Daddy, did you have a wedding?” Lav asks as Cricket lets herself into the kitchen.

“Yes,” I tell her.

“Did you wear a dress?”

“I wore a suit. Your mommy wore a dress. You’ve seen the pictures.”