“Get it together,” he muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing,” he snapped.
She sighed. “It’s not nothing. None of this is nothing.” She dropped her head back against the seat. “I’m so turned around, I have no idea where’s up.”
He looked at her, seeing the soft curve of her cheek, the pert lift to her nose, and the circles under her eyes. It would be easy to blame her exhaustion on just the last two and a half days. Certainly that had taken its toll, but she’d been pushing hard for a long time now. He could see it in the way she closed her eyes for maybe ten seconds, then took a breath and refocused. She put away the panic and the fear, closing it down while she soldiered on. No one got so good at compartmentalizing without a lot of practice.
“You’ve been on crisis control for a while now, haven’t you?”
“What?”
“It’s not just the shifter stuff, it’s everything. I know you took over custody of Theo four years ago, and that couldn’t have been easy.”
“God, no. He’d lost his mother, and soon after that my mom died of lung cancer. He was one frightened preteen.”
So she’d lost her sister and mother and suddenly had to care for a grieving boy. “What did your sister do for a living?”
“She…Um…She temped sometimes. Had a stint at McDonald’s for a bit. But Theo took most of her time.”
So no money there. And he knew that there was no cash from the father or the grandfather. Sure, Isaac had wanted to help out, but his sons had left so many bastards there wasn’t any way to keep up.
“Who supported them while she was looking after Theo? Was it you?”
“I wish. I was busy getting my business degree plus shifts at the bakery. That’s where most of our money came from—my aunt’s bakery. And Mom was a nurse bringing in a good income. It wasn’t until Mom got sick that things got really bad.”
“And it was you, wasn’t it? You held everything together.”
She opened her mouth to deny it or at least dismiss her contribution. But in the end, she looked down at her hands. “I got the education. That meant I had to bring in the bucks.”
“I don’t just mean the money, though that probably was a strain all itself. Who held Theo’s hand when he was scared? Who took your mother to chemo? Who saw that the electricity got paid and there was food in the refrigerator?”
She looked at him, her mouth soft even as she narrowed her eyes at him. “What are you trying to say?”
That she’d had it hard. For a really long time. He’d been cursing himself because he was horny, but if anyone had a reason to curse, it was her. And yet here she sat, pulling it together for one more moment. One more crisis. One more day.
“Have you ever been allowed to think long term?” he asked. “Have you ever considered your future and your wants? Or has it always been about making sure the family survived?”
“My wants are my family.” She winced. “Theo.”
Right. Because the rest were gone.
“He’s going to be fine. I won’t let anything happen to him.” It came out as a vow, and he damn well wasn’t going to falter, no matter how distracted he got. Besides, even if she weren’t as important to him as his next breath, she’d become part of his clan through Theo. That made her his top priority.
She nodded, apparently grabbing on to his promise and holding it tight. They stayed silent a moment, and he watched her hands grip together. She was thinking things, worrying, and he needed to distract her. Naturally, his bear had all sorts of ideas, but that wasn’t going to happen. Then she spoke, creating her own distraction.
“So what’s going on between Alan and Officer Stick-Up-Her-Ass?”
“Officer…” He laughed, a choked sound. “Tonya’s good at her job. She’s just buttoned down. Her bear is really strong, and it’s the only way she can cope.”
Becca’s gaze shifted to the patrol car ahead, and he could tell she was chewing on that information. Which gave him time to sort through the rest of her question.
“And there’s nothing between her and Alan. We’ve all known one another forever. We get to squabbling like siblings.”
“Siblings?” she said, her tone almost mocking. “If you say so.”
“Of course…” He frowned. Was it possible? Did his brother have a thing for Tonya? If so, he was one doomed camper. She was never going to go for a man who couldn’t shift. She was all about the grizzly heritage and pack leadership. She was six when she’d decided to become Maxima. Alan was so human he wasn’t even hairy. “I hope you’re wrong,” he muttered.
