“I am the Grand Cheesy!” he said, stomping his little foot.
No one seemed to care, least of all his fellow cheeses. Worse, they started echoing Brie’s squeals of joy. Every “whee!” had a fairy chorus complete with clapping of hands and stomping of tiny feet.
And that was when the Grand Cheesy got really angry. His face scrunched up and his moldy bits turned black. But he didn’t yell at his fellow cheeses. Instead he looked at Bruce, then at Laddin and everyone else in the field.
“You will pay me the forfeit.”
“Shit,” Yordan mumbled. “This is gonna suck.”
“Answers! Now!” He pointed at Bing, who began talking in Chinese. His eyes widened and he apparently struggled to keep silent. It didn’t work, and the strain had him dropping to his knees. Yordan dashed to the man but was caught by Cheesy’s finger-point next. The big guy managed to make it to Bing’s side but then started saying something about someone begatting someone else. Bruce recognized the phrases asBibleverses, and Yordan looked completely horrified by the words spilling from his mouth.
Nero was next. He’d been running forward, probably to tackle Cheesy, but Bruce already knew that wouldn’t work. Just as he got near enough to slam his fist down, his body lurched as he started listing stats from personnel files. He started with Josh, talking about his academic accomplishments and family tree.
Meanwhile, Laddin started shaking in Bruce’s arms. He moaned “no” in such a despairing whisper that it wrenched Bruce’s attention away from everyone else. “No,” he repeated. Laddin was terrified of repeating what he’d just escaped. His body shook, his eyes were wild, and he rocked back and forth while whisperingnoover and over.
This man, who had been nicknamed Mr. Happy by his teammates, was completely undone. If he started listing more explosive facts, it was going to break him. Bruce knew it as surely as he knew his own name. Even if they found a way out, it would destroy Laddin.
So he made the only decision he could. “Grand Cheesy,” he said. “I will bargain again. I’ll give you something you really want.”
Josh was holding Nero, and he glared at Bruce in fury. “Haven’t you done enough?”
Bruce ignored him, though the words hurt. He was doing the best he could. It wasn’t like anyone else had better ideas.
“What do you offer?”
“I’ll make you big,” he said. He pointed at Bilious Brie. “Maybe as big as him.”
“You can promise this?” Cheesy asked.
Bruce wanted to say yes right away, but he’d learned that there was always a loophole, always a problem. So he asked the smartest guy he knew if his logic was sound. Looking at Josh, he spoke quickly.
“When the fairies came out of me yesterday, they didn’t come back big, but when Brie went through Bitterroot, he came out huge. That’s because Bitterroot is made of fairy magic, right? Brie absorbed that magic and became large.”
Josh frowned as he thought things through. “Yeah, I guess. But it’s hard to say—”
“Good enough for me.” He turned back to Cheesy. “I can promise to make you bigger. If I succeed, you will let all of us go and you’ll never bother us again. If I screw up and it doesn’t work, then you still let them go. You don’t fucking touch any of them.”
Laddin looked up, his eyes huge. “No, Bruce—”
Bruce kept going. “But you get me as your slave. Whatever you want.”
“For a day!” Josh bellowed. “Just for a day.”
“For your lifetime,” Cheesy said. “Or I stay with what I have.” He pointed a finger at Laddin. Jesus, he was going to hit Laddin next.
“Okay!” Bruce screamed. “I agree!” Then he reached out his hand. “You win, Bitterroot!” he bellowed into the air, knowing that the fairy prince was likely listening. “I’ll eat it.” Then, for extra emphasis, he repeated the asshole’s name three times. “Bitterroot, Bitterroot, Bitterroot!”
“What?” Josh gasped. “Don’t be an idiot!”
Bruce shot his brother a look of disbelief. Why couldn’t Josh see that there weren’t any other options? Then Mr. Salad Fairy appeared directly between him and Josh, and Bruce held out his hand for the apple.
“Standard terms?” Bitterroot asked.
“Yes. Fine.” He rushed out the words before they could choke him. At this point he didn’t care what the terms were. It was worth it if the others went free… if Laddin and Josh stayed safe.
“Done.”
The apple plopped into Bruce’s hand, and he didn’t waste any time. He bit down into the red, juicy fruit, and he loved every damned bite. The tingle, the taste, even the smell was divine. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a butterfly drift away on the wind, but it was a vague impression drowned out by the feeling of the power that started flooding his system. Themorethat Bitterroot had promised. His body strengthened as exhaustion disappeared. His mind thought ten times faster. A hundred times! He scanned the field and caught details he hadn’t noticed before. Stupid things, irrelevant things, but he noticed them nonetheless. He saw that Josh had burn scars on his ankles, that Bilious Brie had a pasty white exterior but that the inside of his mouth was that sickly green color, and that Laddin had finally stopped shaking but was now holding on to Bruce like he had last night, with need mixed with tenderness. That, plus a healthy amount of terror.
