An asshole?
“A prince. Listen, I’m offering you a bargain here. I’m hoping that more power will save your world and mine.”
Testy, testy, he mocked. Because the guy’s tone was aggrieved, as if he really was doing something against his own better interest. Which made Bruce distrust him even more. Anyone who saidThis is for your own goodwas lying. Still, the offer was getting tempting.
What kind of power would I get?
“I told you. You’ll getmore.”
What the hell does that mean?
Bitterroot rolled his eyes. “Whatever you intend to be more.” He gestured to Bruce’s feet. “You want speed, yes? You would have more speed.”
Bruce did want to go faster. He was only three-quarters of the way there, and the sun was already up. He couldn’t see Laddin, and his heart squeezed in fear for the guy.
“It’s not just speed. If you intend violence, you’ll become vicious.”
“No,” he rasped. “Never.”
“Then you’ll have more strength to carry children out of fires. And more ecstasy when you ejaculate.”
Bruce winced at the graphic image that came to mind.My ejaculations are fine.
“But they could be more.”
Hell, the guy definitely knew how to tempt him. No one needed more—not in the way the fairy described—but Bruce sure as hellwantedit. Big, powerful guys had the advantage in firefighting. It was simple physics. And who didn’t want bigger and better O’s?
All I care about now is Laddin.
“Then take more power to help him. Because the earth sprites are angry.” The bunny eyes narrowed as he gazed into the distance.
What are they doing to Laddin?
“He should have bargained more carefully.”
What—?
But it was too late. Prince Hop-Along was gone.
Chapter 15
SMALL PRINT? WHAT SMALL PRINT?
BRUCE TRIPPEDon something. The ground was uneven, and he’d been paying attention to Laddin, not where he planted his feet. But he could see Laddin now. The guy was fully human and leaning against the tree that was their destination. Bruce couldn’t see the fairies, but he knew they were there. Especially since his last glimpse of Laddin had shown the man talking. That might have been reassuring… if there hadn’t been a wildness in his eyes.
Suddenly Bruce face-planted with a grunt, banging up his head, getting dirt in his burns, and making for a very noisy entrance. He couldn’t even hear what Laddin was saying over his thundering pulse and his desperate gasps for air. He’d run here full-tilt after fighting a barn fire, and he was done. It was barely five minutes past dawn, and already his adrenaline stores were gone.
He meant to push himself to get up, but instead he breathed in dirt while the apple shimmered just in front of his mouth. All he’d have to do was roll forward and take a big ol’ bite.
He didn’t, but he was salivating for sure. By the time he got enough energy to push himself to his feet, he was surrounded by angry-looking cheeses.
Great. There was no way he’d be able to leap in and drag Laddin to safety now. Bruce took a moment more to catch his breath and slow his heart rate. And then, finally, he could hear what Laddin was saying.
“…three inches deep. C-4 is the easiest, but raw gunpowder will serve as well. The fuse should be….”
WTF? Bruce pushed forward, barely managing to avoid stepping on a militant-looking provolone. “Why is he talking about explosives?” He directed his question to the Grand Cheesy, whose name he couldn’t really remember. The fairy stood in front of Laddin with his arms crossed and his head cocked to the side. And hell, now that Bruce was breathing more normally, the smell hit him. It wasn’t a big concern right now, but he didn’t want to start gagging at a key moment.
The grand whomever turned and gave him a bow. Laddin was still talking about fuse types in a steady though desperate voice. “I greet you, Farting Friend,” said the Cheesy.
