It was right there. And as long as he stared at it, he couldn’t think of anything else. He couldn’t rest. And he sure as hell couldn’t figure out how to shift back to human.
Get it out of my sight, you fucking fairy!
“It’ll disappear the moment you truly want it gone.”
And that was the worst possible truth. Because really, what did he have to lose? His life was already fucked-up. What would it hurt to try for more?
No! No! No!
Except the more he denied it, the larger the apple got in his mind. This entire magical world was fucked-up madness. And all he could do about it was lie on the porch and endure.
Chapter 11
MOON MADNESS ISN’T THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES LADDIN CRAZY
IT WASdark by the time Laddin made it outside to the porch. Bruce was still there, stinking to high heaven, and though he lay down in a relaxed pose, the wolf was licking his lips while his tail twitched in irritation.
“Oh shit, you’re probably starving. You should have howled or something.”
Bruce gave him a dark, angry scowl, which, on a wolf face, was a bit intimidating.
“You know, pride never fed anyone. You’re hungry, you should have said something.” He opened the door to the house. “I’ll just be a second. Wait here.”
Laddin grabbed a couple of the new plant-based burgers from the refrigerator. Bruce’s stomach probably wasn’t up to meat yet, so he quickly microwaved them, grabbed some condiments, and slopped them on a plate. His hand hovered over the slices of American cheese before he backed off with a shudder. The memory of being suffocated by cheese wasn’t fading, and he couldn’t bring himself to touch the slices—even if they weren’t pixies… as far as he was aware.
Then he turned back to the door, only to find Bruce standing half in and half out of the house. Obviously the guy was really hungry, which made Laddin feel all the more guilty. He was Bruce’s trainer. And sure, he’d been busy coordinating casualties and bed space for the Wulf, Inc. crews, but Bruce should have been his first priority, and he’d completely neglected the man’s needs.
He held up the plate of burgers. “You want ketchup? Mustard?” Nods each time. Then he gestured weakly toward the cheese. He didn’t even have to ask. Bruce was wildly shaking his head. “We’re in agreement there,” Laddin said as he set the plate down.
Bruce had no problem figuring out how to eat as a wolf. He gobbled down the burgers in the time it took for Laddin to get a bowl of water out. “I know it’s not how you’re used to drinking, but you’re a wolf now too. You need to learn….” His voice trailed away as Bruce lapped up the water without so much as a pause.
Okay, so Bruce was practical and not into the niceties of food consumption. In that, he did better than Laddin, who’d refused at first to put his face into food instead of eating with a fork and knife. “Captain M wouldn’t let me eat for a week unless I did it as a wolf. But my mama drilled polite table manners into me. She said proper table manners were a sign of civilization, and if I complained because of this”—he held up his deformed hand—“she ate one-handed, too.”
Bruce looked at Laddin’s hand and face, then gave the wolf equivalent of a shrug.
Laddin grinned. It had been a long time since he’d felt like he had a handicap, but it was sure nice to be around someone who didn’t seem to notice it at all.
He supposed it was only natural for people to see his hand and get awkward. They didn’t know whether to ask about it or ignore it. But Bruce didn’t seem to care one way or another.
He abruptly wrapped his arm around Bruce’s furry neck and gave him an impulsive hug. Of the many awful things going on right now, Bruce felt like a warm blanket at the end of a hard day. “I know things are fucked-up for you right now,” he said against Bruce’s neck, “but I’m grateful to have someone to talk to.”
Bruce nuzzled back, which was pure delight. Laddin doubted the guy would have done so as a human—he wasn’t the touchy-feely type—but right now, Laddin needed a warm body to hug.
They stayed that way for a moment, but eventually Bruce got restless. Laddin released him with a happy sigh, then looked out the open front door. “You probably need to go out. It was a while before I figured out exactly how to use the outdoor facilities, so to speak….” His voice trailed away.
Only Bruce wasn’t headed back out the door. Instead, his nose was twitching as he walked down the hallway.
“We’re sleeping in the barn, remember? Every room here is full with wounded wolves.” He stood up and joined Bruce. “So here’s the situation. There’s a big lake about fifty miles from here. We call it Lake Wacka Wacka. Anyway, it’s full of poison that is seeping into the land and expanding across Wisconsin. Nobody outside of Wulf, Inc. knows why. We do, because Nero saw it happen. A demon dropped into the lake and suddenly, bang, everything started dying.”
He took a breath and tried to keep his voice calm, but he’d been talking to people all day, hearing the stories of what was going on, and it had shaken him. He needed to share, and right now Bruce was the best person to talk to.
“The demon is somewhere around there, poisoning the lake and the land. We know it’s getting stronger because the dead zone is growing. But we can’t find the damn thing. And the scientists, the military, and the reporters aren’t finding it either. Having all those humans around is bad enough, but suddenly mystical baddies are showing up too. They’re probably drawn to the possibility of the world ending.”
He dug his fingers into Bruce’s fur, feeling grounded with every shift of muscle and fur. Even the way Bruce breathed eased his own breath.
“You saw what happened to Bing’s face, right? That was from a lich—a big undead magical guy. I also heard there was a mated pair of chupacabra. Think Bigfoot without hair and with evil teeth. They’re not supposed to mate, but everything’s gone wonky around the lake. That’s what demon energy does. It screws up the natural order. And if you think responding to a human domestic violence call is dangerous, try to get in between a pair of emotional chupacabras.” A shudder ran through him, but he took a deep breath and regained control. “So we’re in a bit of a bind. No one can find the demon because we’re all busy keeping the paranormal weirdoes away from the vanilla scientists. And the journalists are everywhere. Be careful where you shift, because somebody’s going to snap a picture if they can.”
If Bruce was listening, he gave no sign of it. Instead, he pressed his nose to the first bedroom door, then looked expectantly back at Laddin.
