Walter felt a surge of elation inside, but it was quickly dampened by Bing’s less than ecstatic expression. “What?”
Bing’s eyes slid away, but Walter wouldn’t let him go far. He blocked Bing from twisting his head away and gently pressed him back until they were again eye to eye.
“I don’t know what’s me and what’s Red Wolf.” Bing lifted a shoulder, a half shrug, his expression rueful. “Red Wolf loves you. He always has.”
“But you don’t.”
It was true. If Bing loved him, they would have gotten together before now. Back before all this craziness happened.
“We were busy. I didn’t want to mix business and pleasure.”
Walter stepped back. It was painful being this close. “Do you allow yourself any pleasure?” he groused. It wasn’t really a question as much as a way to cover the slash of pain through his heart.
Bing took it honestly. “No. Except for movie nights with you.”
A wave of nostalgia rolled through him. “Those were fun.”
“They were. But you weren’t the man you are now.”
Walter frowned, his thoughts going back. He’d spent every movie night wrapped up in a knot of desire for Bing, but he hadn’t the nerve to act on it. He’d concealed his thoughts by dating other people, by obsessing over the script or just sitting close—but not too close—to Bing. What a mess he’d been.
“That was all Monkey,” he said with a depressed sigh. “Give it some time. I’m sure after a week or so I’ll go back to being the neurotic mess you knew.”
“Do you want to go back to that?”
“Of course not.”
“So don’t.” Bing stepped around him. “I’m not convinced that Monkey is any different than you. Hecamefrom you.”
Walter shook his head. “I can’t beat up six stuntmen at once. I’m not wild either, itching to fight or fuck….” His gaze went back to Bing’s, his voice trailing away as he realized what he’d just said. The truth was that he’d always wanted to fuck Bing. Monkey only gave him the confidence to act on his desires. “That night we had together,” he said firmly, “that wasn’t Monkey. I am the one who wanted—”
“Exactly,” Bing said. He touched Walter’s face, rolling his thumb over Walter’s lower lip. “That was you. Monkey just gave you the push to act on what you’ve always wanted.”
“And you? Do you think it’s Red Wolf who wants me?”
“I….” His voice was strangled, and that was answer enough.
But that wasn’t good enough for Walter. Even though everything else in the world was going to hell, he wanted this one thing to be clear. Did he and Bing have a relationship or not? Were they lovers or just friends?
“Can you kick out Red Wolf? Just like I kicked out Monkey?”
Bing’s eyes widened, and he took a step back. “I’ve never tried.”
“You’d be giving up a lot. I mean, you’d stop being a werewolf, right?”
He nodded. “But I might survive if someone else became Red Wolf.” His gaze hopped up to Walter. “Someone like you.”
“What are you talking about?”
Bing spun away from Walter and paced across the motel room and back. “Icon paranormals like me are different. They embody a character.”
“Like Red Wolf.”
“Or Batman.” He pulled out his phone. “This is what happened to the first Batman after Adam West started playing him on TV.”
He passed over his phone and showed Walter the two videos. One showcased a guy dressed like Batman using Batarangs and leaping from buildings with his cool cape. And then Walter looked at the second one, watching the same guy sit there drooling on himself. And didn’t that make him go cold inside?
“That’s what he meant,” he said softly.
