“We were never supposed to be a permanent thing. Even without the fairy deal, we would have gone our separate ways.”
Josh didn’t answer in words, but one look at his face told Nero more than he ever wanted to know about what the guy was feeling. Hurt and betrayal burned hot in his cheeks. Pain shimmered in his too-bright eyes. But what was a thousand times worse were the words that Josh said next and the flat intonation in his voice when he said them.
“I loved you,” he said. “I don’t trust easy, and I certainly didn’t want to fall for the meathead trainer who blew up my life. But I loved you, and I would have done a lot to make this work.”
Nero’s throat closed down, tears and pain choking off his words. But Josh deserved some sort of acknowledgment, something to show that Nero appreciated his bravery in saying the words out loud. That was the kind of courage Nero didn’t possess. Because even though he felt it, he’d never let the wordloveslip out. Even in the past tense.
But he did love Josh. And if the lives of his packmates hadn’t been on the line, he would have done a lot to see things work out too. He almost said that now. He nearly found the strength to admit his own feelings, but he hadn’t missed Josh’s verb. He’d saidloved. As in past tense. Josh had loved him, but he didn’t now.
So be it. But Josh still deserved something.
“Thank you,” he finally said. The words burned in his throat because they were so much less than he felt, and so miniscule compared to what Josh deserved. “I— That means a lot—” He kept tripping over his own tongue, and the right words wouldn’t come. “I’m sorry, so fucking sorry for how this worked out.” Or didn’t work out.
“Yeah,” Josh said into the increasingly cold car. “Me too.”
They both sat there a moment. Nero wanted to do something, to say something to bridge the space between them, but there wasn’t anything he could do. And then, as if they were still in sync, they both opened their car doors at the same second and headed inside.
“Let me handle my father,” Josh said as they made it to the shop door. “You just keep upping the money.”
“Deal,” Nero said.
“And stop making deals!”
Chapter 25
HIS FATHERwas an asshole, and apparently a greedy one. Josh didn’t know how much money Nero had promised the man, but it obviously did the trick. His father looked at the wolf hoodie specs, pulled out a roll of Volcax, and started cutting. He sewed the single garment himself, using specially designed thread, and he even had the sensors and other tech on hand, which went into the appropriate pockets. And in all that time, he never said a word.
And since Josh wasn’t in the mood to talk either, he spent the time researching fairy deals. He did not want everything that had happened in the past six weeks to reset. The fairy mulligan might work for Nero—he’d get his team back—but then Josh wouldn’t get recruited. He would remain a lost doctoral student with nothing in his life but a cosplay weekend once a year.
He’d grown, and he did not want to lose that, so he made a plan. Which was when his father cut the last thread and handed him the cloak. The man still didn’t speak. Not until they were walking outside to Josh’s Uber and his father’s truck. The garment was carefully hidden in a large reusable grocery sack.
“Thank you for this—” Josh said, but his father cut him off.
“I know what you are,” he said, his voice thick and scratchy. “It’s the family curse, and you got it. It’s not your fault; it was in the genes. But I can’t have you opening your brother’s or sister’s eyes. They can’t know or they’ll be howling at the moon too.”
The air froze in Josh’s chest at that, and all his words choked off. But it didn’t matter because his father kept talking.
“That’s why I made this. That’s why I’m risking jail and worse giving you a wolf covering.” Then he finally lifted his eyes to stare right at his son. “Maybe it’ll keep you alive, maybe it won’t. Either way, you’re dead to us. I won’t lose another child to this curse.”
“Dad—” Josh protested, the word half-strangled as it escaped his lips.
“Good luck, Josh. If a cursed soul can have luck.” Then he turned and walked away.
Josh thought about calling him back. He had so many questions, so many feelings. But none of them resolved into words. And while he was still struggling, his father got in his truck and left. Josh echoed the movement, climbing into the Uber while his thoughts spun. And damn it, he didn’t even have Nero as a witness. Around midafternoon, Josh had convinced Nero to check into the nearest hotel and get some rest. He needed to be sharp tomorrow, no matter what happened. Josh even promised to pay for great delivery pizza as soon as Nero texted him the hotel and room number.
Which meant his job was done. All of it. Nero had the prototype shield in his car, Josh had the Volcax hoodie, and his father had closed the door on Josh forever. Done. He needed to get back to Nero.
He ought to let the guy sleep. He really shouldn’t say any of things bumping around in his head. And yet the idea that he would never get another chance burned like fire in his gut. He slipped inside the hotel room and looked around. The room was dark and smelled of deep-dish pizza, but Josh’s werewolf senses could easily make out Nero lying on his back on one of the two queen-size beds. His arm was thrown over his eyes and his breath was steady, but Josh had been sleeping next to the man for almost six weeks. He knew when Nero was asleep and when he was just pretending. Right now the man wasn’t even faking sleep well.
“Have you gotten any rest?” Josh asked.
“A little.”
“Do you want me to get another room?”
Nero dropped his arm from across his eyes to look at Josh. “Do you want a different one?”
Josh shook his head as he went deeper into the darkness. “We’ve got a single hoodie,” he said.
