Josh frowned. It was pretty clear that Nero was hiding something, but Josh knew he wouldn’t get more now. So he allowed the distraction and tried to look ahead to his future. So far his entire focus had been on figuring out magic and mixing it with chemistry. Even defeating the fire bomb was secondary to this beautiful new playground of alchemy, which he got to explore. Sure, he was working night and day to solve Nero’s problem, but he was also learning such amazing things.
Nero squeezed Josh’s arm and answered the question himself. “I take your solution and disappear. You….” He swallowed as his gaze cut back to the mansion. “All of youare going to have to decide on your future. Will you work with us or find a wolf pack somewhere else?” His jaw clenched as his eyes drooped and his hands fisted against Josh’s hips. “This is an in-between time before everything gets reset. None of it is permanent. I want you to solve this problem, but even if you don’t, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change….” He cut off his words, but Josh could all but read the rest off his lips.
“It doesn’t change what you feel about me. You didn’t expect to like me, did you? All of us were just another mission. A means to an end.”
Nero nodded.
“But now you feel for us.” He pressed the flat of his hand to Nero’s chest. “Youfeel.”
“I always felt, Josh.”
“Grief. But what about love?”
Josh waited, but he could see it in Nero’s face that he wasn’t going to say the L word. The man’s body was as hard as a stone as he locked his jaw shut. And Josh couldn’t really blame him, because Josh wasn’t exactly blurting out the word himself. Not in the real declaration kind of way. But that’s what was throbbing in the air between them. Love and pain swirled together. Love because they cared for each other, because Josh wanted to solve Nero’s problem and Nero wanted to make Josh feel better about utterly failing in his task. Pain because it was temporary. Pain because no matter what happened, they weren’t going to have a happily-ever-after together.
“What if I stayed here,” Josh said, “and didn’t—you know—blow up the lab again. Then maybe we could keep seeing each other.”
Nero blew out a breath, shaking his head with deliberate care. “I won’t be here. Even if you are, I’ll be… elsewhere.”
“This is the twenty-first century. We could still talk on the phone, maybe meet up in sleazy gay bars and have hot sex in the bathroom.”
“Never. And gross.”
“Never because you’re not a sleazy gay bar kind of guy?”
“Becauseyouaren’t.”
“And gross because you can’t see yourself with me after all this? Because I’m a screw-up, and not in a good way.”
“It has nothing to do with that!” Nero snarled.
And for once Josh didn’t rise to match Nero’s hot tone. He didn’t taunt him or fight him. Instead, he kept his voice level as he asked the next logical question. “Then what is it? Why can’t we be together?”
“Because we can’t.” He blew out a frustrated breath. “I can’t explain it to you.” And when Josh opened his mouth, Nero cut him off. “Ican’ttell you. It’s classified.”
That shut Josh up. For a moment. And then he frowned. “My love life is classified?”
“My future is.”
Oh. “Like special ops classified?”
“Sort of.” Nero held up his hand. “Don’t make me lie to you, Josh. Just believe me that I can’t tell you the truth. I want to, but I can’t.”
Josh believed him. Nero looked too miserable to be lying. Which brought them back full circle. Josh was a screw-up who couldn’t solve the problem, and Nero wasn’t going to offer him a happily-ever-after. Hell, he wasn’t even going to admit to the L word because the whole thing was a temporary fling.
What Nero was offering was a suck-fest, but for the first time in weeks, Josh wasn’t interested. “I’m tired,” he finally said. “Maybe I should get some sleep while Captain M figures out if she’s going to fire me or not.”
“She’s not—”
“Nero, allow me the graceful exit, okay?” Josh pushed up to his feet, wrapping the blanket around his waist so he looked like he was wearing a skirt. Hell, could life get any more embarrassing?
Nero matched his movements, straightening up to his full height with the gracefulness that seemed to come naturally to the guy. “Josh, you’re not hearing me.”
Josh held up his hand. “If I keep listening, I’m likely to blow myself up on purpose. So please, do us both a favor and—”
“I’m not good with words. Not like you are. And I’m sure as hell not that good at talking about personal stuff—”
“Which is weird because up until today, you’ve always known what to say to me.”
