“Sweet Jesus,” Nero panted as he canted a glance at Josh. “That’s what my grams used to say. Sweet, beautiful, ever-loving Jesus, you make me laugh!” Nero reached out a hand and burrowed it in Josh’s fur. Then he stared at the sky and kept talking, his voice laced with that laughter that had put light in Josh’s soul.
“Pauly used to chase his tail. Like you, he loved being in his wolf body.” Josh twitched, and Nero correctly guessed his thoughts. “Of course I know that you love it. No one chases snowflakes for two hours unless they love it.”
Had it been two hours? He didn’t realize. He barely felt it, with all his fur, but Nero must be freezing. Except the man looked completely fine with the temperature. It brought a healthy pink to his cheeks.
“He’d been turned a month and spent most of it as a wolf. Then he started chasing his tail, trying to chew on it. Said it itched.” He grabbed hold of a handful of Josh’s fur and shook it. It was an affectionate gesture, and Josh was surprised by how much he enjoyed it. “You can guess what happened. He had fleas. By the time we figured it out, he had infested the house. We had to fumigate the whole place. God, was Carla ever pissed.” He glanced back at Josh. “She and her twin, Wes, own the mansion. They’re your distant relatives.”
Really? Josh perked up and tried to remember the pair from his research, but couldn’t hold the thought as Nero kept talking about Pauly.
“Of course, we started calling him Fleabag. He hated it, but no one changes their handle here. No one. It took him two years of secret negotiations and bets. Those are the rules. Everyone has to agree on a name change. For two years he won bets, did chores, and swore us all to secrecy until he had the votes. I was the last to fall. The guy beat me at shots. I have forty pounds on him, but he drank me under the table.” Nero chuckled. “As soon as I sobered up, he called a vote, and one by one, we all had to agree for him to change his handle. We still haven’t figured out his new one. I’m pushing for Fleabitten, but Mother’s partial to….” His words faded away and that gentle burrowing into Josh’s fur stopped. Every part of Nero had frozen.
It took Josh a moment to figure out the reason, and then he felt stupid for not realizing it earlier. Fleabag Pauly was dead. As was Mother and the rest of Nero’s team. He’d been talking like they were off on a mission or something, not dead and gone.
For a few minutes Nero had forgotten his pack was dead, and now that he remembered, he was frozen in shock. As a human, Josh wouldn’t have known what to do. As a wolf, instinct drove him to crawl closer to Nero, to nuzzle the man’s neck and gently lick his face. Nero allowed it for a moment, long enough for Josh to taste salt and to feel a grief so deep, it permeated the very air they breathed.
Josh whined. He had to give sound to the despair. He would have howled if he’d had the breath, but lying so close to Nero kept his throat closed.
It was his sound that jolted Nero back into the present. He abruptly jerked away from Josh while shoving hard with his arms. “Don’t get all cozy with me. You’re not a dog, and I sure as hell didn’t pick your mangy ass up at the pound,” he snapped. “Get inside. You need to eat, and I need a hot shower after freezing my ass off while you chase snowflakes like a moronic puppy. You need to figure out that fire bomb now. I can’t believe I let you waste time outside.”
The words were like a slap to the face. Hell, he couldn’t have hurt Josh worse if he’d kicked him, even though Josh knew that Nero’s reaction came from pain and grief. He was acting out like everybody did when they hurt. It didn’t lessen the sting, and it sure as hell tainted the joy of the afternoon.
So Josh expressed that in the only way he could right then. He leaped to his feet and barked at Nero. And when the guy jumped back in surprise, he followed up with a few more barks in frustration. Fucking hell, he needed his words right then. But he couldn’t wrap his head around what he’d say as a man, so he kept barking, as if that made everything clear.
And maybe it did, because Nero’s expression softened. He rubbed a hand over his face. “You’re right. I’m being an ass.”
No, that wasn’t at all what Josh wanted to say. Nero had been an ass, but it came from pain. Josh knew that. He’d wanted to help, but Nero wasn’t about to let anyone comfort him. Hell, that had been obvious from the first moment he’d allowed Josh to go ballistic on his face. Still, the pain of that ached inside. Nero’s laughter had brought light to a part of Josh that had been dark. And now Nero’s pain made that place inside weep. Josh wanted to give Nero some comfort, but the man was not willing to let him in.
Nero turned away and trudged heavily back to the mansion. Josh tried to change that. He barked again, but Nero ignored him. Then he rushed forward and danced in front of the guy, inviting him to play. He even spun around and tried to catch his tail. It was all he could think to do, but none of it worked. Nero simply patted his head and opened the door into the mansion.
“I’ll get you some food. You need to eat all of it and drink a bathtub’s worth of water. I’ll show you the wolf door so you can pee outside.”
What? No way. He was going to use the bathroom like a man. Except when he tried, he couldn’t get back to his human body. Oh shit. How did he—?
“I know you want to go back to human right now, but stay wolf for a bit. There’s a lot you need to lock in about being lupine. You think it’s obvious, but some pups have trouble. Learn it now. And eat as much as you can. You know how hard it is to eat once you come back to human, so get your calories in this way. The wolf door is right here.”
Josh wanted to argue, but he didn’t have a voice, and Nero was throwing information at him fast. He listened with as much focus as possible on how to open the wolf door. There was a keypad designed for wolf noses, since a palm reader obviously wouldn’t work, but it was pretty hard to press with the tip of his nose. It made him cross-eyed and headachy.
“I’ll heat up the food for you, and no, it’s not dog chow. It’s my own mixture of ground beef, vitamins, and some leafy greens. I made it so it’d be easy on your stomach, but my guess is that after a couple days, you’ll be able to chow down on almost anything.”
A couple days? Josh barked sharp and loud at that, but Nero waved him off.
“Yes, a couple days. You need it. You can get back to your research after you’re fully vested as a wolf.”
Josh snorted.
“It’s not bullshit,” Nero responded. “Yordan is pushing Bing for his own reasons. Mine tell me that you need to get time and calories as a wolf.” Then he sighed. “But maybe, if you do everything I tell you to today, I can help you come back to human tomorrow. I really need a way to defuse that fire bomb, Josh. And I need it soon.” His eyes took on a distant look. “Remember that lake where the blast happened? Lake… hell, I only remember it as Lake Wacka Wacka. Captain M says that it’s poisonous now. Everything in it’s dead. Cyanide is in the water somehow. We’re going to blast it to see if we can kill the demon that way, but it’s not 100 percent certain it’ll work. We can’t even find the thing.” He focused back on Josh. “Figure out how we can survive that fire blast. Then everything can go back to the way it’s supposed to be.”
Josh released a low growl of frustration. What Nero was wanted was impossible.
“I need you to try. Try hard.”
Josh chuffed his agreement.
“But not today. You need the time as a wolf, and I….” Nero shook his head. “I need the break too. I just… need a break.”
That, more than anything else, made Josh give in. Nero’s pain was real and raw. Right now he needed to grieve, not play dog-sitter to a new wolf. And sure, it cut that he didn’t want Josh to help, but sometimes a guy had to lick his wounds in private.
So Josh didn’t argue. He mastered the use of the doggie keypad. He ate all his ground beef and greens. He even went outside and figured out certain other mechanics behind a bush. But while he looked at the cloudy sky, he ached for the Nero who had helped him chase snowflakes, tugged on a stick with him, and rubbed his ass. Because right now, damn it, his tail itched.
