His eyes widened. “You thought I’d sleep with you while dating someone else? You must really hate bears.”
She felt her face heat. “No, I don’t. I just haven’t gotten to know one before. Certainly not like this.”
He seemed to accept her words, though his expression was still stiff. “For the record, I don’t have a girlfriend. I gave up on dating a couple years ago. It’s hard enough finding someone who would love a cop, try explaining cop and shifter to a woman.”
“I hear that,” she said. “I don’t date outside of the shifter community and the last time I had a date was before my brother died.”
They fell into a silence and she thought they might be heading toward sleep until he stroked his hand over her arm. “Your turn. What happened with your first shift?”
She frowned, not understanding the question. “Nothing happened. I never shifted as a teen. Just many, many nights hoping and praying for something that never came.”
“But it did come. You’re a hybrid.”
She shuddered. That was not a memory she wanted to relive. But he’d asked, and she wanted to keep this intimacy even if it was for only one night. “My brother Hunter was always supposed to be the new alpha. He was a strong shifter, smart with money, and people liked him. I would have been happy to support him.”
“But then he died.”
Or Raoul killed him. “Normally, the alpha mantle would go next to Raoul. He’s smart and strong, but my father sees his faults. Dad would support my leadership if I was a full shifter since there’s nothing to stop a she-wolf from running a pack, but I never changed.” She grimaced. “I’m hoping he’ll say a hybrid is good enough.”
“You said you didn’t choose this.”
She shook her head. “Dad invited me to dinner with Raoul and they both pitched the idea to me. Inject the serum, become a full shifter. I’ll admit I was interested.” She sighed. “Interested, not convinced. But they didn’t wait for my consent. I passed out from whatever was in my drink, and then woke up screaming.”
She felt him stiffen beside her as a growl rolled through his body into hers. It was the animal in him, angry that she had been so abused. But instead of rousing the wolf in her, his fury filled her with warmth. She couldn’t remember a male who had ever gotten angry on her behalf. She knew it was because she projected such an air of competence. She could handle anything, right? But the fantasy of having a man by her side to cherish and protect her—and beat the crap out of anyone who hurt her—was so tempting that she sunk into it and him. She burrowed into his side as he gripped her shoulder and she allowed his strength to support her.
Heaven.
“How bad was it?” he asked.
“Really bad. Every joint, every cell burned. Even the air felt like fire.”
“Did you shift then? Into a hybrid?”
“Yes.” She’d thought shifting would ease the pain, but it hadn’t. She’d writhed on the floor, pouring out stink and agony. Both her brother and father had started throwing up and all the while, she’d been screaming.
“How long?” There was tension in his body from his questions. Raw fury that he held in check while he encouraged her to talk. And it helped. She was able to give him the information he wanted.
“I don’t really know. It felt like eons, but I recovered faster than my brother did. He was still gagging on the stench when I managed to stand up.” She grinned, sitting up. “I beat the shit out of him.”
“Wish you’d killed him.”
Sometimes she wished it, too. If she had, then none of this nightmare would have happened. Raoul would never have gotten her father and most of the pack addicted to the serum, he wouldn’t have dumped it into the water supply and brought the city to its knees, and he sure as hell wouldn’t have rounded up Hazel and started a war with the bears. But hindsight was 20/20 and even in the depth of agony, she hadn’t been able to kill her brother. She wasn’t entirely convinced she could do it now.
Then Ryan adjusted so they sat face-to-face. His expression was shadowed but he caressed her cheek with heat and emotion. She read anger and respect. She didn’t want to think the word “love” but she felt that, too, though she had no idea if it was real or not.
“Let me kill him for you,” he said. “I know he’s your brother and a pack mate. You can’t pull the trigger, but I can.”
Overcome, she just stared at him, her mind reeling.
“I can do that for you,” he said.
“Become a murderer?”
He shrugged. “I’ve killed before.”
“In cold blood?”
He nodded, but she didn’t believe it. He was all about law and order. She knew that because she’d followed his work in the gang task force. He developed relationships with kids no one else wanted to even talk to. He cooled tempers, talked about respect for oneself and others. He was not one to go out and assassinate anyone even with good reason. It’s part of what made her lo—
