He groaned and pulled me back down. “Yeah. Until now.”
I stayed silent, feeling his arm around me. I pressed my palm to his chest, felt the steady movement of his breath, and heard the thump of his heartbeat. Quiet things, human things, that I enjoyed because they were part of the man I loved.
I took a breath and absorbed that thought.
I loved him. I loved Connor Hart.
That was the real problem I had with Sophia. Lots of people had conniving bitches in their lives. I still worked with them, laughed with them at parties, or even extended a sympathetic hand if they needed it.
The difference was that Connor had allowed his toxic sister to destroy our relationship. That he called me a liar when the reality was that he couldn’t face his own sister’s problem. He couldn’t find a way to fix her, so he doomed us. That was the issue. And if I didn’t force him to face it, we’d never make it.
I knew, too, that this was the best moment to talk to him about it. He might be on the Disabled List, but I wasn’t. My work was only going to get heavier in the coming days. So if we were going to have this discussion, it had to be now. It was the worst timing, but hell, I was also fast losing my nerve. I liked lying in his arms. I liked talking with him. And I liked all those other things we did in his bed, too. How easy it would be to just ignore my hurt. We’d go on having hot sex and nothing else…until it completely destroyed us. So I knew I had to say it.
“I love you,” I said.
He jolted, rising up in bed to stare at me, but I pressed him back down. I kept talking, though the words burned my throat.
“I love you, but I’m not going to be with you.”
“What?”
“Not if you keep thinking I’m just like your sister.”
“I know you’re not!”
“But you do. How many times have you implied that I’m a liar?”
“Gia—”
“Can’t you see that you’re letting your issues with your sister color how you see me? She and I are not the same.”
“I never said you were.”
I snorted. “Yes, you have. Maybe not in as many words, but you do see us as the same.” I pushed away from him and sat up. It was hard to leave the peace of his arms, but he had to hear me. “You’ve got some complicated emotional baggage going on with Sophia.”
“She was a good sister.”
“Yeah, she was. But she isn’t anymore.”
He squared his shoulders until he sat facing me. “I’m not going to abandon her. She’s my sister.”
“But you’re not helping her, Connor. You’re enabling her. And it’s destroying us.”
“You don’t know what she did for me. For us.”
I didn’t argue. There was no point. Sure, she’d helped them when they were kids, but whatever darkness was inside Sophia had hurt Cassie deeply. And it was eating away at Connor, too.
“She needs to face the consequences of her actions.”
He swallowed, and I could see that his eyes glittered in the lamplight. “Are you telling me I have to choose between you and my sister? You call that love?”
I swallowed. “Yeah, I do. You might think that you’ve got Sophia under control, but I’m here to tell you, she’s destroying my love for you.” I didn’t dare say “our love.” He hadn’t said anything about returning the feeling.
“You’re the one issuing the ultimatum.”
“Yet, how many times have you warned me that she’ll destroy my career? Just because we’re together.”
His eyes widened. “Has she tried anything?” He gripped my hand. “What has she done?”
