“Yeah. Pretty awesome, right?”Please say yes. Please say yes.
“Um…yeah. Awesome.”
Oh, hell. That didn’t sound awesome. That sounded terrified.
I sighed. “So I didn’t quite prove myself, huh?” Damn. I thought it had been spectacular.
“What?” Her hands gripped the sheet. “No! I mean, yes! You were perfect. You were better than perfect. I’ve never… I mean, that was incredible.”
Great. Now she was babbling. She really was freaked out.
“So what’s the problem?”
“N-nothing.”
I lifted up on my elbow to stare at her. She was flushed, and her hair was a soft halo around her face. She’d tugged the sheet up to her chin, so that was about all I could see. I touched her cheek, intending to stroke my finger across her skin, but she flinched, then immediately flushed hot at her reaction.
Wow. I’d never had a girl flinch from me afterward. I must have royally screwed this up. I let my hand drop to the bed and looked at her.
“You’ve got to tell me. What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing!”
There was no hesitation there. “So what’s going on? And don’t say nothing. I know it’s something.”
She bit her lip, and her gaze slid away. “Okay. So I’m freaking out a little bit.”
“I got that. Why? Did I hurt you?”
“No! I just…I’m not like that. I was completely out of control.”
It took me a moment to understand her words, and even then I wasn’t sure I got it right. “Sex is an out-of-control kind of thing.”
Her eyes widened, and her gaze moved back to mine. “I know, but I’ve never… I mean I didn’t think I would be like that. I mean…um…” Her voice faltered.
I smiled. “Then maybe you haven’t been doing it with the right guys.”
She bit her lip, and her shoulder hitched in a small shrug. “I’m not inexperienced. I mean, I’ve had good sex before. But this…” She shook her head. “It was different, you know?”
I did know. In fact, I’d been thinking about that, too. That it had been better than good. It had been special, and way more than me just getting my rocks off. I had loved making her go wild, and I couldn’t wait to do it again. And not just because I’d get that mind-blanking eruption again, but because I’d be able to see her lose it again, too.
That was weird for me. Because honestly, with any other bedmate, it was all about making her just happy enough that I could get off. Sure, it was mutually fun, but deep down, it was all about me. Except this time. Suddenly, I was thinking about her. And she was clearly freaking out.
I took a breath and spoke slowly. I was afraid if I said the wrong thing, she’d bolt. “I thought it was different in a good way. But you obviously don’t.”
She turned to me, and I could see it was hard for her to explain. But I was thankful that she tried. “I’m not a wild person. And I’m not a selfish person, either. But there was a time there when…” She swallowed. “Jake, I wasn’t thinking about you. I just wanted…everything. I was all need. Like an animal.”
Ah. Now I understood. “And you’re someone who always thinks about other people. You never let yourself get greedy, not caring about anyone but yourself.” Her gaze slid away, but I touched her chin and brought it back to me. My tone was gentle, but I wasn’t going to let her run away from this. “You think you’re a bad person because you enjoyed sex.”
“Not true! I like sex. It—it’s fun.”
“But you went so far outside of yourself this time, you gave no thought to anyone else. You just felt.” I started to feel a grin grow. I knew she wouldn’t appreciate it, so I tried to fight it. But frankly, this felt like I’d just won an Olympic sex medal.
“I was like an animal,” she repeated.
“Ellie, that’s a good thing.”
“No. Not like that. Not so totally…”
