That’s what he focused on at the end. He went on and on about how he disliked Brittany, but the media had set him up. He had no interest in her, but the Bobcats were making him go on the date. But he had a work-around, he hoped. And even if it didn’t work, their pretend dating would only last this season at the longest.
And then he did the most awful thing. I’d been sitting there and listening to him, feeling his reason and his logic like billiard balls banging around my brain. I heard them, even understood them, but every word felt like a hit to the head. And then he dropped to his knees before me. I saw the emotion in his eyes, the desperate hope that made his eyes sheen and his hands tremble. He touched my clenched fists and said the words I’ve been longing to hear. Words that I’d prayed would come from him soon. But I’d never thought it would happen like this.
“I’ve fallen in love with you.”
I jerked back, pain slamming hard in my torso. I couldn’t speak. Hell, I couldn’t breathe. He’d just said what I’d so longed to hear from him. Way back on spring break, I’d been thinking about love and marriage. But that wasn’t what he was offering. He was saying “love” with his mouth and his body, but he was also kicking me out of his home. The one place I’d convinced myself I would be happy and safe as I explored a future with him.
“Heidi, please say something. I’m dying here.”
What could I say? I wasn’t someone who raged or screamed. Again, words bubbled up from inside, cold and barely polite.
“Thank you for your honesty,” I sneered.
“That’s it? You understand?”
And the awful thing was that I did understand. The pressures of Major League Baseball were something I could barely fathom. Being an athlete today was more than being great at the sport, but also about fashioning a public persona. He was trapped in the one the Bobcats had fashioned, and he couldn’t give up his dream of being a baseball star. I didn’t want him to. And frankly, if his choice was between me and baseball, then I could see how he’d choose baseball.
Baseball, when I’d wanted him to choose me. To want me like I wanted him.
But that obviously wasn’t possible. Who would choose me over Major League Baseball? But I didn’t want to be second in his life. And I wasn’t going to stick around knowing that I’d never be first.
So I stood up. “I’m going to go home and finish packing.”
“But…” He stood and reached for me. “Where…?”
“Where am I moving to? I haven’t a clue. But I’ve got to be out of my apartment by next week.”
“Um, right. Do you, uh, want any help?”
I shook my head, feeling tears burn behind my eyes. But I kept them inside. I kept it all buried deep down inside. “It was nice knowing you, Rob.”
“What? Wait!” He grabbed my arm, and I nearly collapsed at the way he felt. His hand was warm and strong. His forearm muscles flexed in a distracting display. And I felt his panic as keenly as I felt my own pain. “Please, Heidi. I don’t want this to end.”
“I know.”
“But—”
How to explain? How did I put his betrayal into words he’d understand? “You’re asking me to put my life on hold for you for a baseball season. To wait for you—”
“Yes! I swear—”
“No.” The word burned through my body as it came out. It whipped us both and tasted like ash. No, I would not wait for the man I’d already fallen in love with. No, I would not sneak around and be his girlfriend while the press pictured him with someone else. And no, I would not pretend like this wasn’t killing me. “I want someone who will choose me first, and you can’t. I understand why. Baseball is everything to you.”
“It’s just a season. Can’t you wait—?”
“No. Because next season, it will be something else. And then something else. And then I’ll have lost another three years waiting for you.”
So I left.
I kept my scream locked inside me on the elevator down and out to the street. I managed to hold the tears at bay while I called for an Uber. And then I stood there, staring sightlessly at the street until something caught my attention.Someone.
I saw a dark sedan parked across the street, and in it sat Nico.
I wasn’t stupid. I knew that Rob wouldn’t have done this without significant pressure from the Bobcats. Brittany’s media machine was one thing, but Nico was the force behind the threat. He was the one who made sure that Rob carried through and he’d been against me from the beginning. Which is why he was parked here in the first place. The man wanted to make sure that Rob ditched me like a good boy.
Well mission accomplished. I’d been dumped and at that moment, all my hatred coalesced into a single gesture. It was something I’d never done in my entire good girl, Chinese life. I gave him my middle finger with enough force to put someone’s eye out.
Then I climbed into the arriving Uber and never looked back.
