“I don’t know how to help Vic,” he said, and even he heard the plaintive note in his voice. He wanted to help. He wanted to because then she might touch him again. She’d withdrawn her hand the moment he snapped at her and he cursed his temper and the frustration that lay beneath it. “I am at sea in the human world right now.”
“So let me help.”
And here they were full circle. He was lost and she was not a reliable guide. He stared at her a long moment, wondering what he should say. And then he saw it. It was a small tic. Something he would never have noticed except that he was watching her so closely. But the more he looked, the larger the thing seemed.
She was breathing in quick tight pants. Like a rabbit on alert, her entire body was still, but her nostrils flared and contracted in quick succession, and it spoke of panic kept barely at bay. Her gaze might be steady, her chin lifted in defiance, but her breath told the true story.
And oddly, the knowledge that she was frightened reassured him. So he relaxed against her car and smiled. Her brows narrowed.
“What?” she demanded.
“I understand now and that makes me feel more in control.”
“You understand what? My brother?” She couldn’t disguise the note of hope in her voice.
“No,” he said gently. “That you are afraid, though you hide it. And that tells me that you are used to being in charge, used to hiding your fear as you tell others what to do.” He dipped his chin at her. “It is the mark of a good leader.”
“Awesome. Now—”
“But there is a danger, too.”
She sighed, then arched a brow. “Do tell.”
“You act like a lieutenant in a war zone without the time off to rest. I think you are always on guard, always issuing orders, always under siege.”
“So? This is Detroit. It’s not so bad in this neighborhood, but it’s not so great either.”
“So how long have you fought to control everyone and everything? How long before you break?” He gestured back toward the basement without looking at it. “Things are very bad, Alyssa. You cannot manage as you always have. I think you know that.”
“And what would you suggest I do instead?” Her voice held a heavy layer of disdain, but he ignored it.
“I think you should act as normal people would.”
Her laugh came out short and derisive. “I don’t do hysterics.”
“Then what else would be normal?”
“Booze,” she said as she slugged the last of her beer. “Brownies,” she said when she was done.
“And babes,” he finished for her, only now realizing that she was echoing Vic’s favorite saying. He could remember dozens of times when his best friend had said just those words, just that way. And when he locked eyes with Alyssa, he felt her memory of it, too. How many times had she heard it? How many times had she harassed Vic about having no ambition in his life, no drive beyond those three things? She’d certainly done it a lot when he’d visited so long ago.
And now they’d said it to each other and the echo of the old Vic was her undoing. Her eyes abruptly teared up, her breath that had been short, now choked off with a sob. And her shoulders that had been so strong beneath a lifted chin suddenly caved in.
She slammed a fist against her mouth as she tried to hold back her emotions. He reacted on instinct, his grizzly surging forward before his mind even processed what was happening. A grizzly nuzzled his distressed mate. A grizzly licked her face and petted her fur. And a grizzly pressed his face to hers and purred in a gruff kind of way.
So he did that to her. He pulled her close and stroked her hair. It was still in that tight bun, so he tugged it free and burrowed his fingers into the mass. He pressed his cheek to hers and chuffed as if the sound were perfectly normal. And he held her while she clutched his shirt and cried as if her world were crumbling.
Her sobs came from the gut, pulled from deep inside and harsh to hear. There were no cries in those guttural sounds. No feminine keening or delicate snuffles. This was pain held deep. It was a hard knot that seemed to tear out of her and to fall on his shirt as she clutched him.
It lasted a long time, but his grizzly was always patient. It didn’t measure time the way a man did. It only knew that the female was in pain, so he kept nuzzling and petting until the pain was gone. Until the sobs eased and her body shuddered against him.
In time, he realized she was speaking words. Two of them repeated over and over.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
That made no sense to either man or bear, so Simon simply nuzzled her some more and let the grizzly continue chuffing as he stroked her hair.
“I’m sorry,” she said one last time as her clenched body finally eased. She still gripped his shirt in two fists, but her body wasn’t jerking against him. So he stopped petting her and simply waited with her head cupped in one hand and the other resting against her back.
