“Not many know,” Shaw whispered.
“Does Magnus?”
“Yes,” Shaw said. “He was the first one I sought out when I shifted.”
“And?”
“I asked him about what I should do. What role I needed to step into for the sake of our pack.” Shaw went still, his face twisting as he dove deep within his thoughts. “I asked him if I should challenge Xander and become Gilen’s beta.”
“The beta,” I whispered. “The bond between alpha and beta is different compared to the rest of the pack.” I recalled Magnus describing the differences between his beta bonds with Alistar and my father, Emery. “Judging by the circumstances now, I assume you didn’t challenge Xander?”
“In a way.”
“Enlighten me.”
He sighed. “It’s hard to explain.”
“You? Hard to explain?” I turned to look at him, “Now that’s a first.”
“It’s hard to describe the feelings attached to it, Skylar,” he whispered with a low growl laced in his words.
“For males, those tend to be difficult. I can agree with you on that.”
“Gods.” He sighed, palming his face, the scars along his forearms shimmering white against the splash of dawn trickling along the distant horizon. “Magnus asked me if I felt the pull.”
“The pull?”
“Yes, the drive to become Gilen’s beta. The call of the alpha to follow him. Like I said, it’s hard to explain.”
“Oh,” I replied. “And I’m guessing you didn’t?”
“No more than Rhea, Talon, or Neera,” Shaw continued. “So, I decided to let it be. To continue in my current rank within the pack.”
“But your magic is—”
“Is not meant to serve this alpha,” Shaw cut in, sliding his gaze to me. “I’m not meant to serve as beta to Gilen.”
It was my turn to be stunned into silence.
“That was all I could piece together anyways, because it wasn’t long after that when Julia died…” Shaw trailed off. Losing Julia was devastating for all those who knew her. “It’s been chaotic since then, and I stepped in to help however I could. And then Neera and I—”
“Do you love her?” I asked, my protective side emerging as I glared at the male.
Shaw flinched against my stare, feeling the power and meaning behind it. “Again, it’s complicated.”
“Because, Shaw, I love you like a brother, but if you hurt her… If you—”
“I know. Shh,” he hushed, waving his hand. “Calm down, I know. We haven’t done anything like that, Sky. Gods, I couldn’t live with myself if I did. She just lost her mother.”
“Good,” I said with a sharp bite to my words.
“We were there for each other,” Shaw said. “There’s something that could be nurtured and eventually grow, but—”
“You’re not a mated pair.”
“No,” he answered with a heavy sigh. “And we all know how Neera feels about finding her mate.” Shaw shifted as he cleared his throat, his mind working to accurately articulate his emotions. “The blissful joy of a true mate bond is unlike anything else in this world. Witnessing Rhea and Talon’s relationship unfold only helped solidify my desire to someday find my own mate.” He chuckled with a grin, glancing at his brother on the far side of the room.
“I see,” I answered, looking down at my sweet cousin sleeping on my chest. “Thank you,” I breathed. “Thank you for being here when I couldn’t, Shaw. For that, you will forever have my gratitude.”
